Thursday, December 25, 2003

Ho Ho Ho..:P

He...He... Well its that time folks.. Merry Christmas.. or Happy Holidays for the Americans reading this page. I wish you all a good One!!!
I'm off to get it naked :P..The turkey that is :).. And give it a damn good stuffing.. The husband that

After surviving the yearly trip to see my parents without loosing the will to live and wishing I hadn't''t suddenly been stuck deaf, I find myself chilled. But with no skin left on my lips :(.. Its a selotape thing :(.. The joys of child ownership and much present wrapping :P
We also had snow 2 days ago which was kinda fab in a Christmas card kinda way, but my son loved it and it was a joy to see all the local kids snowballing the local OAP's... Joke!!!

keep warm and have much fun love and laughter Chucks :) much love x x

Saturday, December 20, 2003

Tis The Season too Be Jolly

Well... Sat here bored out of my brains .. So thought best do some kind of an update :)..m so here goes:-

We had the usual Christmas extravaganza in the town this We had celebs from Coronation Street and Santa was pulled by Reindeer this year which was a site to behold and a first for me and the family. Yes we live in the countryside with lots of wildlife etc. but reindeer are a little sparse on the ground believe it or I took some pics of them once they had got them settled in a pen in the main town square. I put the best one on the pics site.

It was also Williams school play last night. That was very good and a lot of fun to watch. Pics also on the other site, though the one taken at the play did not come out too well so I took one of him in his costume that I spent many an hour making, when we got home.:)
I must say how nice it was that for the first time in years I was able to sit through the play without having a panic You are always squashed in in these places and it really freaks me out, but for the first time I sat an enjoyed it without any fear of making a sudden dash for the nearest exit.:( I will go more into things in my almost new year post as its been a good year for me all round.. YAY

Have fun people and be good :)

Friday, December 19, 2003

Just to show good will over the crimbo period I give you this :-
Carpet golf :)

Monday, December 08, 2003

Golf Joke :)

One Saturday morning an avid golfer gets up early, dresses quietly,gets in his car to drive to the course. Coming out of his garage rain is pouring down; torrential downpour. There is snow mixed in with the rain,and the wind is blowing 50 mph. He returns to the garage. He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. The forecast was bad for the whole day, so he puts his clubs away and slips back into bed. There he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible." To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out golfing in that s**t?"

Thanks To Mr P for that one.. put a huge smile on my face I can tell you. :P

Sunday, December 07, 2003


Yup... and the front bit is here too :P.. What can I say... ermmmmmmmmmm.. Laziness.... ermmm...more laziness... and yes folks.. maybe a bit or mulling over things too :P... but I have been busy too. Its that time of year again.. Costume making for the school play :/.. and this year folks were going to be a grandfather clock!!!.. Yes you did hear that right... so you can guess the fun I have been having over the past few weeks with a hot glue gun lots of cardboard and sticky tape... YAY.. well maybe not so YAY... I will put a pic up of my efforts on the picture site when he does the play.. so you can all laugh with me *or should that read at me:(*
One of the main reasons for not saying much is I feel sometimes there is so much crap in my head its best to say nothing. As I would only regret it afterwards. I have many a time written things on here and the given myself a good kicking afterwards when re reading it The last 2 posts being a good example of this :).. So its.. keep ones rubbish to ones self from now on. Till I'm feeling more human and more able to have an adult conversation instead of tempering like a 2 year old when I don't get my own way :P.

I had some nice e.mails of people, they were no doubt wondering if I had gone back to gibbering and living the life of a hermit..:).. But no.. Things are OK with me.. Just needed to get a few things straight In my head that's all. A little time out so to speak. I have had time away from messenger too, so some of you have noticed and sent me e.mail wondering why. Mainly cos I have been busy back in Worlds 3D... Its a bit addictive :P.. I'm so into it I have even started to make my own AV's..Now that is sad!.. So if you fancy a go then give me a shout.. I'm *littleme1969*.. Maybe I will see you there some time :)

Last but not least I would like to dedicate this song to a dear friend of mine :).. He sent me a lovely e.mail and I have not yet responded. It's sometimes hard to find the right words. So I hope the song will say it for me. This song always was one of our favs.. but funny with the passage of time the words mean so much more nowadays. Much love to you my friend :P
The words don't do this song justice, Its from the *Listen Without Prejudice* album.. you should give it a listen to appreciate it properly. :P

Cowboys and Angels George Michael
***************** *************

When your heart's in someone else's hands
Monkey see and monkey do
Their wish is your command
You're not to blame
Everyone's the same

All you do is love and love is all you do
I should know by now, the way I fought for you
You're not to blame
Everyone's the same

I know you think that you're safe
Harmless deception
That keeps love at bay
It's the ones who resist that we most want to kiss
Wouldn't you say?
Cowboys and angels
They all have the time for you
Why should I imagine
That I'd be a find for you
Why should I imagine
That I'd have something to say
But that scar on your face
That beautiful face of yours
In your heart there's a trace
Of someone before

When your heart's in someone else's plans
Things you say and things you do
They don't understand
It's such a shame
Always ends the same

You can call it love but I don't think it's true
You should know by now
I'm not the boy for you
You're not to blame
Always ends the same

I know you think that you're safe
Harmless affection
That keeps things this way
It's the ones who persist for the sake of a kiss
Who will pay
Cowboys and angels
They all take a shine to you
Why should I imagine that I was designed for you
Why should I believe
That you would stay

But that scar on your face
That beautiful face of yours
Don't you think that I know
They've hurt you before

Take this man to your bed
Maybe his hands will help you forget
Please be stronger than your past
The future may still give you a chance.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Change to the rules of engagement :(

Having re read the bit below I now smile to myself in a *You silly Moo* kinda way :P
Future rule being this!.. ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT REACTION!!!!.. rofl.
The guy turned out to be a d**h**d of a grade one magnitude :(
I find myself rapidly loosing the will to live when it comes to the male of the species :/.
Oh well I live to fight on another day.. A little more bruised in the ego department, but hey, its all a learning curve.

That brings me onto the subject of.. *can men and women really be friends, without sex rearing its ugly head?*
I know some people seem to manage it ok. And I have thought that at times myself. But when I dig a little deeper there is always an underlying sexual attraction fueling the friendship :/.. Almost like its better to have a small piece of a person than have nothing at all. Oh.. and the little glimmer of hope in the background that maybe one day you could be more than just good friends. I'm not sure what to make of it all myself :/
I have an Ex who I think the world of, even though we parted 11 years ago now, we are still close and keep in contact via phone e.mail etc. Mainly cos of the way we parted I think.
I always felt I was holding him back, stopping him doing what he wanted to , and the last thing I wanted was for him to come to me in future years and say "You're the reason I didn't make it!"... So I left. I'm sure he didn't understand at the time, though I did try and explain and have since also tried to explain my reasons.
And so the friendship remains. My husband put his foot down about 2 years ago and said I wasn't allowed to have anymore contact with him. He said it was obvious that there was still something between us. I did my best to convince him that there wasn't anything. We were just good friends and that was it! But deep inside I knew he was right.
So can men and women ever just be good friends? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm duno :/

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Met My Match?

Life is a funny thing.. There I was sat minding my own business.. Getting on with my life, as you do... Making judgments about people from short conversations :/... When infront of me appears a person... A person who makes me look up from my sad excuse for a life and take note..... A person who has, despite my first impression, made an impact on me in a short space of time.... A Person who seems able to take what I dish out.. And what's more can give just as good as he gets :P.. It *seems* I have maybe met my match?.. You know who you are my friend :)
Its all very cryptic I know.. but just had to say something.
And the lesson for today is.. Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover.. Or it may just jump up and bite you when you're not looking :O

Feeling Bored ?.... Need a little brain stimulation?.. Got a fetish for birds?
GiveFowl Wordsa go.. But I worn you.. its a bit I have already paid for an upgrade!.. Well I did say I was a sad person with no life :).. And that just goes to prove it!

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Brief Analysis

Your first name of Nicola has given you inspirational, idealistic, and dramatic qualities. You have a clever, deep mind and the talent to excel in highly inspirational lines of endeavour as a dramatist, musician, writer, or artist. You can be lifted by beauty in all forms and are at the most creative when inspired. Your expressive, affectionate nature responds quickly through your feelings, but you must guard against being possessive and jealous. Your delight in mystery and your sensitivity to things you do not understand could draw you into occult studies or religions. Unfortunately, it is difficult for you to retain emotional stability, for you can easily swing into moods of depression and self-pity. Your quick temper can flare up suddenly and be over as suddenly, leaving you very sorry for any suffering you have caused.

Spoooookkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyyyy.. :O
This is so like me its scary... and I had a little giggle about the *possessive/gealousy* bit.

Check out yours Here.. and thanks to Ariel for the link :)

What can I say.. other than where has the time gone?
I'm back on broadband again :).. got the network sorted for the other PCs :) so we can all use the internet now .. and what's best is I have complete control :P.. YAY
One problem.. I seem to be having firewall issues. Despite me altering setting etc. I'm having problems seeing certain things. A lot of them on my own page :(.. cant see the adds at the bottom left.. which means I have to go to my stats page direct and the same is of the comments box. ggggggggrrrrrrrrrr.. I altered all the settings and sometimes I can see them and other times I can't. I never had a problem with the setting when I was on dial up.. Anyone got any ideas?

Despite that I'm enjoying the freedom that the faster connection brings and not tieing up the phone line. Makes music downloads great. :)

Golf............. errrrmmm well not much improvement on that front sadly :( and to be honest I have given up trying to get through to him. Maybe its time to play him at his own game :) and no I'm not taking up golf.. just time to start getting out more. When he walks in .. "Teas in the oven dear" then I'm walking In the 11 years we have been together I have never been one for going out without him. I'm always the reliable stay at home house wife. So much so the few times I have gone out, maybe to a friend or neighbor, for more than an hour he's on the phone wanting to know when I'm coming back.. gggrrrrrrrrrrr.. but yet its OK for him to go out at 8.30 am and return home at 10pm.. playing golf or so he says.. but that's fine.. he can't see why I have a problem.. or is it just me? To be honest I feel like a single parent :(.. with his only addition to the household being his wage.
When I got married 4 years ago I promised to love and care in sickness and health.. * no obey!!* but no where did it say to be ignored , and second in line to golf clubs! :( So no more trying to talk to him about it.. it gets me know where.. I'm not the kind of person to sit back and let someone walk over me... Over the years he has been a real arse to me, and I'm sure that his treatment of me was one of the main factors in the cause of my anxiety/self esteem problems. He's a control freak.. but sadly so I am.. but the difference been I only want to control me.. and don't want the resposibility of others.. he just wants to control everything.. Yes you guessed it.. I'm off men this week! So if you see me on the 10 O Clock news being led away from the house handcuffed... and a bloody body being taken from the house with what looks like a golf club rapped around its neck, Please be kind and send me letters of support. Do you think I will get a shorter sentence for mental torture?

Be kind to dum animals.. x

Saturday, September 27, 2003

RIP Harry :(

One of my fav pigs died the other day... aaaaaaaaaaaaawwwww.. Just buried him the garden this afternoon.. I must be careful .. Its starting to look like a graveyard and the neighbors will start to talk!... I'm down to just 10 now.. lol.. Yes I did say 10.. but when I was doing the rescue I had 38 in at one time :/.. that was hard work!!.. They are dying out slowly of old age now... 6 males and 4 females left.. but I expect to loose a few more over the winter as they are getting so old.. just like their owner ;P

A few useful bits for ya.........
Try Stickies.. Its fab.. Its post it notes for the PC without the (pinched it from listeners site :/) I have been looking for a bit of software for ages to do this.. Loads better than lots of bits of paper lying around.. Great!!
And for all toughs poor people who run on XP and are being plagued by toughs messenger adds ever 2 mins. I have Norton security.. Firewall plus antivirus and it does not stop them!..gggggggggrrr. The guy who did my PC recommended Zonelabs If you scan through this you will find a free download firewall that does a great job.. and kills the bloody messenger adds.. YAY.. At last and you don't have to pay the 20/30 quid the others are asking.. That's what I like... FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Saturday, September 20, 2003

Design Flaw

I sometimes think that the big man upstairs is having a damn good laugh as he looks down on us poor creatures. Lets face it.. when he was sat there, at his drawing board, he must have thought *I know... this will spice the whole thing up and make these pathetic little creatures worth watching*.. what did he do?.. he made the sexes so incompatible that we haven't a snowballs chance in hell of ever getting on.. and the evidence is this......

Men withhold love to get sex...
Women withhold sex to get love... well were stuffed here straight away :(
Men can only do one thing at once...
while women can multi task.... Hence the reason for guys getting so upset when your doing the times crossword while having sex... That's if you ever get around to having sex because of the bit mentioned above :(
Men think in numbers and objects...
while women think in feelings and emotions... He's thinking *we can have sex twice before the footy comes on*(wishful thinking on my part... twice in half an hour... never!!) while she's thinking *Great.. an hour in bed .. a nice cuddle and a good chat after*.. She's no sooner got over the 'quick bonk' and he's either .. out of bed like a rat up a drain pipe or snoring his brains out within a second of his head touching the pillow!! :(
So with all that in mind.. I give in!!! Well never get what's the point.. I have decided to become a lesbian... Again! :)

nite chucks.. sleep well x

Monday, September 15, 2003

Your soul is worth £60897. For your peace of mind, 9% of people have a purer soul than you.
To Find what your soul is worth try THIS

My inner child is sixteen years old today

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thanks to Ariel For the above stuff.
16 again.. YAY I wish :) Always said I never felt any different from when I was at that age.. and that proves

What Have I been upto?
Well lots of things that I shouldn't.. but no change there then :P Its been a funny few weeks. Kids back to school and getting used to a empty house again :/ Its strange after 7 weeks of noise and kids running through the house.. then there is just me sat heretwiddlingg my thumbs.. and the quiet :I.. It will be great when I get used to it again.
In my frustration with the Golfing widow situation I joined an online datingagencyy.. LMAO.. I can here the intake of breath from you all.. Myy God..Whatt is she doing?..Hass she gone mad"..Welll no.. not mad.. just fed upIi guess :(
I was a half way good girl.. I put I just wanted e.mail friends/chat on my profile and was quite honest about my situation. Posted the profile and sat and waited for what would come through... I must admit I was a little taken a back by the response I got.. 50 e.mails in 2 weeks *GULP* sadly 90% of them are sex starved pervs with nothing better to do than pester poor golfing widows when they are feeling sorry for themselves. Oh well that will teach me!! I learnt a long time ago that men are *mostly* all the same so I was expecting it. I have been contacted by Guys from all walks of life and from all over the planet.. Its been an education and I hope that in the long term I will make some good friends too.. and who knows maybe Huband no Well maybe not. But for the record I met my now husband from a computer dating agency some 13 years
Yes.. I hear you cry. she still hasn't learnt her lesson!

Monday, September 01, 2003

Updates :)

YAY.. I log onto freeserve and I find they are now doing the package for free.. plus the first month free :).. There is a god after all.. so as soon as AOL get there Broadband off my line I'm in there quicker than a rat up a drainpipe. Not that I have ever seen a rat running up a drain pipe.. but I hear from reliable sources its pretty quick :)
Other than that the PC seems to be behaving itself.

HHmmmmmmmmmm.. well for the poor people who have been known to read this site on the odd occasion. I'm sure you will remember me having a grumble about how I was acquiring extra bits of me.. mainly in the Butt/boobs/chins department :( Well some I have lost a few pounds (mainly on buying stuff for my sponge like Pc :) joke aside.. I have lost a bit.. but mainly due to a daily workout, bike riding,playing tennis with the kids and generally being more active.. I have lost inches which is better :) and the bits that had gone south for warmer climates have undertaken a rapid return :) You don't seem to realise how unfit you get until you try to workout and find yourself blowing and puffing like you smoke 40 a day :( no wonder things were looking limp and un interested in life. Well I feel much better for it and have even got that spring back in my step that I hadn't seen for many a year :)

YAY get the flags out the kids are back to school next week.. I can't wait.. Days of peace and quiet .. going on the net when I want without the door going every 5 mins and a head popping round it to say "MMMMOOOOOOOMMMMMMM.. Can I Have.... ".. gggrrrrrrrrrrrrr and the constant pointless squabbles over nothing!.. I'm sure they just like to hear their own voices.
Daughter got her Exam results.. and considering she missed most of the last year at school, almost 50%, she did well.. she passed all 9 she took and got 4 Cs.. which was pretty darn good I think. She is returning to 6th form to do a few retakes to try and up a few grades and also do a year course In ICT.. so hopefully she should be able to teach me a few things!

Well that's all folks :P.. well not really but I will save the rest for another night :) x

Sunday, August 31, 2003


What a week :(
Bloody Pcs... who would have em..:( For the people that did not know.. I got Broadband a couple of weeks ago.. well AOL Broadband..:( And yes the service is great.. Its very fast and makes the net experience much more enjoyable. But naughty me had let her anti virus subscription slide *Smack to one wrist* .. so I though.. quick upgrade it now I have broadband I'm a huge target.. So I did.. only to find that I was already infected with 2 worms and 2 trojans.. AArrgggg.. well I did the *removal tool* thing.. and thought that would be the end of it .. no.. afterwards things seemed ok.. but the next day when I logged things were very strange.. certain things just wouldn't run at all and others behaved erratically :(
So after trying to fix things for a few hours I mad the decision to do a complete reboot.. I had a computer guy coming in a few days so thought now was a god time to start a fresh. It wasn't too bad as I have 2 hard drives so was able to save the important stuff on there :).. took me best part of a day to get everything installed and up and running.. So I thought great.. That's the worst over with... NO!!!!!.. that would be too simple...
Computer guy comes.. fits the new bits I wanted.. extra USB2 plus a card reader... and also a switch for networking.... they say its really easy to network 2 XP PCs.. LMAO.. don't believe it!!.. well to cut a long story short after 3 hours and the poor guy leaving at 10.30pm.. we had the network up and running.. he said he would return the next day to sort out the internet bit... Great I though.. No more kids hogging my PC..:).. But No!!.. in the sad world that is my reality nothing is ever straight forward.:(
He returns the next evening.. and makes a start.. but try as we may.. we cant get the thing to work.. So in desperation I look in the AOL help files.. and what do I find.. "AOL DOES NOT SUPPORT NETWORKING".. gggrrrrrrr
could you believe it.. Never a mention of it when you sign up.. the buggers.. So I check on the message boards and yes.. you guessed it a page full of nasty posts about how poor people had spent mega bucks on wireless/routers to network PCs.. only to find they don't support it.
At this point I'm seeing red as my return period is up by a few days already and I'm now stuck with it.. my daughter cant access the internet at all from the upstairs PC and the whole point of getting broadband was so we could both be on at the same time.. GGGrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
So in my frustration I picks up the phone the next day and rings AOL.. I gave them such a stuffing about the lack of information when you sign up.. and how I was now stuck with this for 12months... The guy went away.. came back and said.. You can return it!.. I was surprised I didn't expect that at all.
Well to cut a long story only a little bit shorter I'm now back on dial up :(.. and it were things really this slow? I have to wait a few weeks for the AOL survive to be removed from my line.. then hopefully I can get Freeserve broadband.. but the laugh is.. when I signed for AOL both of them were free.. and now Freeserve are charging £50 for the modem.. *BANGS HEAD AGAINST ROOM WALL* Does someone up there have it in for me?

sleep well chucks.. x x

Monday, August 25, 2003

I give in

Well I stopped trying to sort it..
so you'll have to make do with this till I get sorted.
And I got broadband.. Plus the added bonus of ever virus/bug known to man :(
but managed to avoid the blaster
Sadly I have just had to spend the best part of a day rebooting this bloody PC.. And I still got loads more to do :/
then I will get the site sorted..

Ali.. I will send you mail soon hun!
Mr P. Glad to have you back sweetie :)
Husky.. Great about the new job!
Harry.. Hope your well .. you not been around much :(

Sweet dreams all :)

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Aint Nature Grand :)

I have put the pics as links rather than on the page..
Strange Grasshopper like insect :P

Bee on Globe Thistle

Bottoms up :O

Sunday, August 10, 2003

HAPPY BIRTHDAY To my daughter Kelly .. 16 today :P
God I feel Old now!! :(

Happy Birthday  :)

This has to be one of my fav pics of her :).. Cute

Saturday, August 09, 2003

You Are Love
You are Love.

You love life, you love all those around you and
the world that you live in. You are happiest
when you are doing something for someone else
or for the common good of mankind.

What Emotion Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Aaaaaaawww that's so like me ;P.. NOT!!

Come Undone.. Duran Duran

Can't ever keep from falling apart
At the seams
Can't I believe you're taking my heart to pieces?

Oh, it'll take a little time,
might take a little crime
to come undone now

We'll try to stay blind
to the hope and fear outside
Hey child, stay wilder than the wind
And blow me in to cry

Who do you need, who do you love
When you come undone

Words, playing me deja vu
Like a radio tune I swear I've heard before
Chill, is it something real
Or the magic I'm feeding off your fingers

Can't ever keep from falling apart
At the seams
Can I believe you're taking my heart
To pieces?

Lost, in a snow filled sky, we'll make it alright
To come undone now
We'll try to stay blind
to the hope and fear outside
Hey child, stay wilder than the wind
And blow me in to cry

Who do you need, who do you love
When you come undone

Another one of my fav tunes :) What I find amazing is the lack of understanding when a person has a mental problem of any kind :(.. I find some comfort in this song. It just goes to prove that we all have hard times in our lives, and all deal with it in different ways.. and if Coming Undone is your way .. then go for it :)
The problem is this.. when you're a *Young adult* everything is full of hope for the future.. what you're going to do and be .. who your going to do it with.. Owning your own place.. Marriage.. Kids.. Or just finding that special someone to share your life with.. all that future ahead. But the sad reality of getting toughs things.. the heartache.. obstacles struggles .. is something you never add into the equation... and as all these happen to you/around you.. it changes who you are bit by bit.. until one day.. many years down the line.. you look into a mirror and don't recognise the person looking back at you. 'How the hell did I get here?'.. 'Where has all that life gone?'... you see we're all too busy just trying to get through things .. over things.. round things... we somehow forget to live :( So it makes no wonder we have trouble coming to terms with things... Dealing with things while clinging on with our finger nails for dear life.
I'm the ripe old age of 34 now..:P and can honestly say that most of the people I know have at one time or another suffered some kind of mental problem.. but its sad that only a few will hold up there hand and admit it. Maybe if more people did stick their hands high in the air instead of keeping things behind closed doors .. the world would have to stop running for cover every time the words *Mental Illness* are uttered :/
Enough of this adult babbling.. I'm off to fly my Kite!! :)

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Flying High

One of the good parts about being a parent is buying your kids things that you would of liked as a kid.. LMAO.. I know its sad but we all do it.... Examples being..Zoo Tycoon for PC.. LOL..... and when a little face opens it and says 'what's This Rubbish'.. The reply goes.. 'oh sorry I'm sure I heard you mention that you would like it'.. I add at this point these are on the spot presents and not birthday or Christmas.. Even I'm not that cruel :).. The latest of my purchases was a kite :).. Bought along with a lot of other outside play goodies to entertain the kids in this nice weather.... After all I wouldn't want the shop owner to think I was buying it for myself ;) that would never do!!
Well today we finally had enough wind to give it a test run.. So off we went with half the kids from the estate in tow... grrrr.. It was ACE.. its a stunt kite with a very long tail. At this point I will let out sadistic mum!!.. LOL.. you'll see why in a min.. We did note while attempting to fly the thing that it would suddenly develop a will of its own .. do a triple Loop one way fly high into the air and then dive at light speed crashing to the ground..:) As all good parents do I heard the words of my own Parents being screeched from my mouth.. "Don't.. Stop It.. It will all end in tears". The words that came out were ..... "Don't get too close kids cos if it comes down on your head you'll be in casualty".. LMAO.. And yes we all know what's coming next don't we ;P
Well my lovely son in his usual grumpy way when he's tired decided not to listen.. and the words had no sooner started to leave my mouth when in a split second it plummeted did a loop the loop.. Lined itself up on his head and made a light speed dive... What can I say I laughed so hard I had to picked from the floor by a passer by.. And poor William.. Well he picked himself with a dazed look in his eye and said.. "Is it time to go home mum?"..

Monday, August 04, 2003

Is it hot enough for ya?

Yes is the answer.. always a good sign when you can fry eggs on the BBQ top without it being lit...LOL And its going to get even hotter :O.. I'm happy to report that after a bit of sunbathing I'm my usual dishwater beige colour :(.. Most people go brown.. or a strange Its hard to say really.. I just look like I need a good wash :(.. Oh well

Well I have lost the will to live over the page colour and background :(.. and this RED is way to bright.. I want it to say softly "I'm red.. come and love me".. not scream "RED IM DESPERATE COME AND HAVE ME!!".. So more playing is needed But can you see it folks?.. That's the big one?
and what's more.. Does anyone give a damn?

I found this on a page the other night.. its a must for all Tenacious D Fans.. but its XX rated.. so no under 18s please.. come to think of it.. they would know more about the subject matter than us 10 years married types would ;) It takes a while to download but its worth it.. Well that's my opinion.. I will prob get lots of nasty comments saying.. "What is this crap.. Have you gone mad?"

Sleep well x

Friday, August 01, 2003

Right boys and girls....
I tried what you said.. but no joy.. It wouldn't allow it.. FTP. is the address of my blogger server and if you try and mess with it.. I get the white treatment.. lol.. So have hosted the background and the title on the yahoo server.. and if you still can't see it.. well I will move it back to my main server and will have to leave it at that.. Sorry :(

Thursday, July 31, 2003


All is quiet.. not a sound in the house :(.. They are all in bed asleep.. Even stranger.. the net is quiet.. not a person I know online :(.. Did someone take over the planet and not tell me?.. or is it the dreaded *THURSDAY NIGHT BLACK HOLE BLIP*... I am amazed.. this seems to happen regular on a Thursday... :(.. Is there a Hip Net party going on somewhere and you don't think I'm cool enough to be invited.. or are you all suffering the *Its almost the end of the week and I'm Knackered* syndrome? Well either way I'm bored out of my braindead housewife scull :(.. Can't be bothered to convert any CDs.. or download any MP3s.. don't feel much like going in a chat room or game room.. So I guess I will have to go and take out my frustrations on some unsuspecting oranges.. and squeeze the life out of the little orange buggers ;)

P.s. Have no idea how to get the background to work on other browsers.. Sorry guys..
P.p.s. Have a great Holiday Mr P :).. You will be fine.. Honest.. Believe me.. I was a psychic in a previous life ;P

Monday, July 28, 2003

Sorry :(

Please forgive me Ali ..:(.. I put you with the girls :(.. Yes you would probably be happy there ;).. but its not right! I have a friend called Ali.. A Girl.. LOL.. short for Alison and just jumped straight in :(
If I had bothered to read right through your site.. *Go On Slap Me!!* .. what Can I say.. I see it I like it.. I use it.. I'm female..can't help it :)... Thankyou to Harry for pointing this out to me :)

Sunday, July 27, 2003

A Change is as good as a rest!

Can't quiet see it myself.. its bloody stressful.. waiting for your blog to appear, so you can see what damage you have done with your attempt to make it more hip. Well I have never been hip.. so why start now ;) I must say though it does look like I could happily advertise such things as *The Rabbit* and *The Butterfly* on it.. (For toughs of you who think I have lost the plot visit Ann Summers Online.. all will become clear)

Added a few new links.. Ali for the girls... This site had me going green.. its way too fab..
Husky Pup for the boys.. Wins the vote for best site with a cute puppy on it!
and Wallybrane.. for the boys also.. Politics meets sarcasm... hmmmm :)

Have a good one x x
New Look :P

New look to my page :).. and I feel its very me people. A big thanx goes to Ripsaw who gave me a hand on a few sticky bits.. Hugs Hun x x
Also done a bit on my other site.. new photos etc.. but that's still on going now I have upgraded the site I have more room :)


Thursday, July 24, 2003

MEN... :(

My so called husband has just walked in at 11pm.. he left the house at 2pm this afternoon to play a round of golf..:(.. Is it me or do you also find this unreasonable.. I mean honestly.. well.. I'm so lost for words. what can you say.. I just can't believe it :(.. We had a big shouting session before he left and I told him I had had enough of it . And from now on am going on strike in both the work/gardening bit and the bedroom bit. Because people its like this.. If I go out for even a couple of hours to paint a friends wall.. I get phone calls wanting to know where I am and why am I not home yet... and if I just buggered off for the afternoon leaving him with the kids/housework/cooking/washing.. he would flip his lid. I think its time for an advert in the *looking for a new partner* web sites.. cos I'm so fed up of banging my head against a large green brick wall with white balls on it .!!

On a lighter note the kids have now broken up for 7 weeks.. AAARRGGHHH. and bets are on for how many weeks it takes me to loose the plot.. Closely followed by the will to live :(.. If the kids don't get me.. the damn golf will! :(

nit nite x x

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

Been busy converting all my fav CDs to Mp3 so I can listen to them with my player when I'm out and about :).. One of my fav songs of all time has to be the one below.. Its a beautiful piece of music with even better lyrics.. :)
Just thought I would bore the pants of ya and share it ;P

Father figure George Michael

That's all I wanted
Something special, something sacred
In your eyes
For just one moment
To be bold and naked
At your side
Sometimes I think that you'll never
Understand me
Maybe this time is forever
Say it can be

That's all you wanted
Something special, someone sacred
In your life
Just for one moment
To be warm and naked
At my side

Sometimes I think that you'll never
Understand me
But something tells me together
We'd be happy

I will be your father figure
(Oh baby)
Put your tiny hand in mine
(I'd love to)
I will be your preacher teacher
(Be your daddy)
Anything you have in mind
(It would make me)
I will be your father figure
(Very happy)
I have had enough of crime
(Please let me)
I will be the one who loves you
Until the end of time

That's all I wanted
But sometimes love can be mistaken
For a crime
That's all I wanted
Just to see my baby's
Blue eyed shine
This time I think that my lover
Understands me
If we have faith in each other
Then we can be

I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
I will be the one who loves you
Until the end of time

If you are the desert
I'll be the sea
If you ever hunger
Hunger for me
Whatever you ask for
That's what I'll be

So when you remember the ones who have lied
Who said that they cared
But then laughed as you cried
Beautiful Darling
Don't think of me

Because all I ever wanted
It's in your eyes baby, baby
And love can't lie, no...
(Greet me with the eyes of a child)
My love is always tell me to...
(Heaven is a kiss and a smile)
Just hold on, hold on
I won't let you go, my baby

I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
(So I am gonna love you)
Until the end of time
I will be your father
I will be your preacher
I will be your daddy
I will be the one who loves you until the end of time

Saturday, July 19, 2003

Icing On My Cake :P

Its been a busy old week.. lots of fun things :)
finally stopped gibbering long enough to take the kids for a day out to Flamingo Land.. I know its not a big thing.. but for someone like me its huge :).. Things were great 10 mins into the journey Hubby asks me how to get there :/.. Bloody men.. Honestly I organized everything else.. He's driving.. all he has to do is get us there.. and he waits till were miles away before he says anything... GGGrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.. Despite his lack of brain matter we got there.. and all had a fab day. Even managed a few rides.. I did all the scary ones years ago so thought best give them a miss. That and I don't think my fragile stomach would have survived the experience without expelling its self from my body :(
Barbi on Saturday.. *that's the food one and not the dum blonde one*.. That was cool .. but Rob managed to singe his eyebrows and nearly burn down the conifer hedge.. hey the food tasted good.. so all were happy.
Swimming on Sunday. Took William and one of his mates to Goole, they have a bigger pool with a large water slide there.. the kids loved it.. and I enjoyed the swim.. and the attention from the male occupants of the pool.. *OK I'm a big flirt so slap me!*
I suppose I should bore you with some boring pics I took with my digital camera.. hhhmmmmmmmm maybe next time .. Can't be bothered at the mo.

Youth Is wasted On The Young!

I was contacted last week by a guy I used to hang around with when I was 15/16 through Friends Reunited (Link In right margin).. What can I say.. it was a long time ago.. so much has happened. At the time I was going through a bit of a *Its male I'll go out with it* phase.. and as I was a bit scary in the looks department all attention was greatly received:). To cut a long story short he was a good lad :).. and It set me to thinking how different my life would have turned out if I had got with him rather than the arsehole I ended up with. He was 19 at the time and very *sorted* good job car etc.. great personality and a mad sense of humor (Both of which he still has I'm glad to report:).. but he wasn't dangerous enough for me.. LOL.. So I went for the Nutter instead.. and there start the crap that became my life.
Quick someone hit me with a large blunt object I'm getting all nostalgic :P
We had some fun times and reading through the letters we used to send each other.. Well my god.. I was a bit of a tare away.. and look at me now :/.. brain dead housewife living in StepFord!!!.. AAARRRRGGGHHHHHH

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

No More.. Not Again!! :(

Sorry but its my blog and if you don't like it then tough! ;)
Kind of getting back into this blogging thing :).. Maybe cos in my usual *Brain dead Housewife* way I managed to delete 50 of my fav Mp3s that had taken me probably days to download :( Don't you just love 56K dial Up.. Not! To cut a rather long story short its kind of put me off mp3ing for a while. I will wait till I get Broadband next month.. then give it a good battering.. but I must admit I'm a bit cautious with the American music industry threatening to fine anyone they find sharing music :(.. Not good karma people. :( ITS NOT BLOODY FAIR (screeched in a 16 year olds kinda way). I buy CD. I have a couple of hundred in my collection.. Its only the old stuff that's hard to get .. or I refuse to pay £20 quid for a compilation just to get one song!. I understand why they are doing it..But the fact is that people have been doing it for as long as there have been tape recorders and radios. So why now?.. Answers an a large postcard to Brain Dead Housewife, Somewhere in East Yorkshire, With few Computer skills, Large Boobs and Butt (STILL :(...) But otherwise almost normal.

Have a good One!! x x
Don't Panic!!! I know its 2 posts in 2 days.. But what the hell :)

Have just done my blog roll. I try to make sure I check in with people at least once a week, but I will admit with things been so busy lately I have let some sights slide. So in an effort to get a grip of my self (Hold That thought for a moment:P) I had a good read through. and I find quiet a few people have stopped bloging all together :(.. So its not just me that's run out of things to say, and sits with a brain dead glaze in their eyes as they stare blank at the Blogger post screen :/
With that in mind its got me in the mood for a good shakeup of my pages :P.. I have been planning it for a while and with my workload now reduced the time is now!. So I'm going to be removing some people from the blog roll and adding a few others.... have a new look for the page.. That's if I'm feeling super brave :).. and also get the other site sorted with new pics.. finish my 101 things etc.. and generally an all round shake up. I must be insane.. either that or the house is so bloody clean.. the garden so tidy.. that I'm bored out of my under used skull and need a new challenge :)

Watch this space.. (that's if your so brain dead you class this rubbish as entertainment ;)


Sunday, July 06, 2003

Lactating Barbie
Lactating Barbie? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Snap out of it and kill the kid while you still

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sorry for the above quiz.. but thought it was very apt with the content of my next moan :/


What can you say really .. other than anyone got a big gun so I can put myself out of my misery :(
Why do we bother having children?.. Why do we invest such time and effort with tenderness and love, only to have it all thrown back in our faces and be told *WHAT A CRAP PARENT WE ARE*.. but the laugh is this comes at the end of an argument when teenager daughter has just been found out for using mummy's password to log on to AOL till approx 7.30 am :(
It seems the reason for her abuse of my password is because I'm a terrible parent :/.. My God how did .. *you little mare , I have just checked my online bill and you have been logging in on my account till the early hours *.. get turned around to .. *its all your fault, if you weren't such a crap mother I wouldn't need to go on the net (LARGE PAUSE FOR INTAKE OF BREATH>> NOW SCREAM SOME MORE) and for gods sake mother One hour is no use to anyone, I can only download one song in that time!!!*
The only reason I got AOL was due to the fact she could not be trusted to come off when told.. and when she thought we were asleep she would re dial. I never thought for a minute that she would spend hours looking through my net books to find my password. *Hits head with large blunt object*.. How stupid was I!! All I can say is "Don't have any kids" That way you will never have to spend hours on end.. Screaming at the top of your voice... and having every thing you have ever done thrown back in your face by the ungrateful little buggers when you find them out yet again :(
Parenting Sucks!!

But on a lighter note :).. Weather was Ok today
Sleep Well x x

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

Life Is What Happens when your Making Plans

How the above little ditty is so true. Said by Mr lennon I do believe, Well that's what they said on Emmerdale tonite ;

Before I ramble a few waves... A big snog goes to Mr P.. I will do mail over the next few days Hun :).. Hope you and the family are well. And A big Hi (Plus snog if he so wishes) to Harry we had a nice natter the other night and its always a pleasure to share net time with him.

To my rambles......... I'm feeling a little strange today :/.. mainly cos my parents have been , I don't get to see them much these days due to work/my gibberingness and life in general and it always throws me off balance a little to have them in the house. So its been... stomach churning and general Miss anxiety sadly :(.. But I look on the positive side... When I get these set backs it just reminds me just how far I have come and how well I am doing :).. Big pat on the back for me :)
I can honestly say despite a few issues that are in the background, I am more at peace with myself/who I am and what I am than I have ever been in my life :) Anxiety for me has been a life changer. I never take a trip to the shops or a night out.. or even just getting out of the house in general for granted. I try also never to take the love and support from the people around me for granted either. Its been a long road and I still have far to travel but that's what life's about aint it? Learning from the bad bits and making the most from the good bits.

Speaking of bad bits :(.. My best mate had a bad heart attack about 6 months ago at the ripe old age of 35 :(.. well sadly her overall health has taken a downward spiral and she's spent more time in the hospital over the past few months than anywhere else.. She is the nearest thing I have ever had to a sister, one of the few people I can really let myself be myself with.. let *the Bradford Lass * out and have a bloody good laugh :) I love the bones of her and with her long term future unsure I am finding it hard to take in. How do you get your head around such things?.. I know I have been through it before, but I feel with all the shit I have endured over the past years I'm just no longer strong enough to deal with it. The last 2 of my grandparents died over the past few years and I was so upset by the whole thing I was unable to attend either funeral :(.. It just sent my anxiety spiraling out of control.. My brain is numb with the very prospect :/

Other than that.. things are great :).. lol
Hope your all OK x x x

Saturday, June 28, 2003

Its Raining :)

And they have forecast more over the weekend.. maybe just the incentive I need to get my butt back on this page and do some of the stuff I have been saying I would. I must admit that I'm on top of things now so hope to have more time too :)

I nearly fell of my chair the other day.. 'Broadband Reaches Sunny Pocklington'.. LMAO.. Yes people.. enough pig farmers got their acts together and they have confirmed it for August the 6th.. hehe.. So I have signed up in the hope that with a more flexible connection I will get my own act together :P

Have Been doing a lot of thinking about life/the past/the future over the past weeks. :/.. maybe cos its my daughters birthday in 6 weeks time. She will be sixteen. My god where has all the time gone :O.. Its brought a flood of stuff to the front of my brain that I will write about in a later post when I can make more sense of it.

Well just a quickie tonite.. sorry this morning ..hehe. Hope your all well ..
Sleep well chucks :) x

Monday, June 23, 2003


What can I say...:O.. I return to make a post and they have changed everything :(
Couldn't remember my bloody password either as its been so long.. I just took a few guesses in the end and got there :).. and when I get in I find.. Nice new Blogger pro Screen :).. And it is much better laid out than the other.. Its fab :)

Well folks to start with I will apologies for the lack of posts these past few weeks :/
I get the impression from comments and e.mails you all think I have had a breakdown and am currently residing in the Home For Bewildered Of East Yorkshire :P.. Sorry to disappoint but no!!.. I'm alive and very well and generally having such a bloody good time I haven't found the time to be on the net much :/
The weather has been gorgeous, infact better than I can remember in years, So I have been making the most of it. Lots of gardening *YAWN*.. lol.. Plenty of pub evenings :P and just generally finding out how bloody good life can be when your not a gibbering wreck! And yes I did mention puds... hehe.. felt so great I have even started to have the odd drink again and its been fab :) Just to clear up a point..... I didn't stop drinking because I was an alcoholic :P... but mainly due to the fact it made my nerves worse and so felt it best to give it a miss for a while.. Having said that the miss turned out to be longer than I had first thought.. 3 years ... AAARRGGGHHHH
Family update... Don't nod off people it has to be done!!
My daughter managed to scrape through her exams.. she only missed 1 in the end. She's still not on top form but is getting there and planning to stay on in the 6th form to do ICT. So I bought her a new PC as the old one resembled something from the stone age and I'm very protective of my own PC :P
Son... well he's not been well either .. he got a really bad cold on top of his hey fever... bless him.. and ended up having nearly 2 weeks off school... so its been a bit of a nightly ward round dishing out the medicines for the past few weeks.
Hubby.... well we came to an understanding over the golf.. mainly cos when we went out other guys kept staring at me and chatting me up when I went to the bar.. LMAO.. I think he suddenly realized what was important in life ;)

Well that's about it really... its been great..:)
Hope your all well. I have been checking in on my blog roll from time to time just to keep up to speed and maybe now I will sort myself out and start posting comments again and making more posts :)
Sleep well chucks and stay Happy :)

Thursday, June 19, 2003

Two weeks and not a post.. :(
Normal service will resume shortly... what ever normal is :P

Thursday, June 05, 2003

Just a Quickie

Still alive :)..
Daughter has Glandular Fever in the middle of her exams :(
Son has Chronic hay fever..swollen eyes.. nose bleeds and is a grumpy as an old git!
Husband back on the bloody golf course... without son as he decided he *Didn't want to play with the hard balls any more daddy!*... Lmao
and me.... well not 2 bad just going with the flow and slowly loosing the will to live as all around me falls apart :( But no change there then folks!

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Boobs Like Sam Fox :O

Me sniggers in anticipation of the many hits I will get from the pervs using the search engines ;)
But there is a point to the title honest :P... Not posted just to increase page hits...
An explanation is in order... lol... Yes... I'll bloody get on with it!!
One of the *Perks*... of being an anxious gibbering wreck is that your metabolism runs very high and you also tend to not eat much as your stomach constantly churns :(... So... being over weight and putting on large amounts of weight has never been much of an issue throughout my life :).. Always been between 7 and 8 stone , and at 5' 2" tall that's a reasonable weight. Now however with Mrs Gibbering firmly buried under a large rock in my garden ... and also mid life creeping upon me I find myself struggling :(.. New acquisitions being a Jennifer Lopez Butt and boobs that Jordan would not turn her nose up at :(... Great I hear you cry... 'Curves are in'.... Yes.. but sadly with the rapid onset of *More chins than a Chinese phone book* that seems to be attached to the boobs and butt :( I'm not so impressed with my new look. I have taken to doing chair aerobics while on the PC in the hope of preventing butt growth.. oh yes and selling my body to the highest bidder :)... for gardening purposes only people ;P
A change is needed with overall outlook on food and eating as I'm sure mother nature is waiting in the background with her finger on the button smiling.. and when she presses said button certain parts of my body will rapidly migrate south in hope of finding a warmer climate :(

Sleep well chucks and stay happy :)

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Slug With A Hangover??

No people, I'm not talking about either myself or the nice little beer traps I have in my garden but BLOGGER :( .. Is it me.. or has blogger been running really slowly over the last few days. If Your lucky after 5 mins you get the background :( Not Good me thinks :(.. Not that I can moan, as their people still haven't taken any money out of my account for my Blog Spot Plus account.. :P.. Strange.. I thinks its time I left them a little reminder :O

Rain Rain.. Bloody Rain... With the current weather situation I'm going to have to apply for planning to have my greenhouse roof lifted :).. My plants have grown to such huge proportions due to the sunshine and mild weather I currently have a slight Beanstalk situation going on :(.. With these bloody hailstone showers we keep having I dare not put my offspring out to the mercy of the weather. Bless.. that's just how sad my life has become :(.. worrying about bloody bedding plants :(.. and Golf.... and teenage mood swings.
Speaking of teenagers (my blood boils at the very thought :(..).. It was my daughters last day at school on Friday :(.. God that makes me feel old, and I wasn't prepared for how it would make me feel either. Don't seem 2 mins since I was doing that.. and now its my daughter... aaarrggghhhh.
They had a party in a field ... yes.. in a field.... and yes it p****d down all Friday.. lol So there were a lot of very soggy drunken slug like lay abouts creating holly hell in 4 large tents :).. lmao.. youth.... Needless to say she returned home with a large love bite on her neck, worse for ware and not able to remember much :(.. Am I a bad parent??.. Well one thing I have learned is if you say they can't.. then they will surely do their best to do in behind your back anyway.. so best allow it within limits.

I intend to spend some time sorting my other site... "My God ".. I hear you cry... yes folks.. scanner is working now and with all this bloody rain I'm hoping to have some spare time over the weekend so will do some work at long last :P

Luv and Hugs x x

Thursday, May 15, 2003

Wisdom with age ?

Carly Simon... Coming around again..

I know nothing stays the same
But if your willing to play the game
It will be coming around again

So don't mind if I fall apart
There's more room in a broken heart
And I believe in love
Well what else can I do?
I'm so in love with you!

Funny how some things just don't make sense.. but with the passage of time, heartache, Love, devastation. the good and the bad.. things look different :/. I have heard the above song many times and always liked it. But the words never meant a thing. Now however I understand all too well :P
Too many people these days seems to eager to walk away from relationships. Falling at the first big hurdle. Loosing what it was that first made you fall in love with that special person :( But time has shown if you hang in there weather the storms together.. what you once had will with time respect trust and love return again and all the more stronger :) I can still see peoples faces in my mind, when hubby and I got together. "It will never last".. "I give them a year".. etc.. etc.. well you can understand it really.. There I was in my tight jeans and leather jacket.. Typical *Townie*.. and there he was in his overall and green wellies .. your average pig farmer :P. No wonder they had to put it down and not give it a chance. But here we are 10 years on :) One son, one minor breakdown, one near death experience, one cancer scare, one death of brain matter plus all the crap the kids have thrown at us over the years... Oh yes.. not forgetting the Bloody Still here :).. I can close my eyes and remember the feeling I had the first time I met him (without the wellies).. Time is all we have folks.. so best take it day by day and enjoy it, as history as proved in my case .. you never know what massive low or high is round the corner. But most important is the love we share :)

XX sleep well
New title folks :).. well almost :)

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

Men are such devious creatures :/

Yes they are!!!.. The latest to the long running soap opera that is my fight with being a golf widow :(
Well folks........ He has played his trump card so to speak :(.. My biggest grievance with his golf playing has been the lack of time it leaves to spend with his son. So yes... you guessed it.. Hes started talking William with him.. (Note to Mr P.. I don't want to hear that your 3 daughters have suddenly acquired an interest in golf either!)....... :(.. what's more he has him booked in for lessons and has purchased him his own clubs and bag :(((((((((((( So.. not only am I golf a widow but it also seems my job as a parent is in question. Ggggggggrrr Not a lot to say to that other than.. in order to see my family I am going to have to take up golf too :(.. How crap is that! *Me rolls on floor with legs in the air and gives up!!*

Oh yes.. I received a reply to my nasty e.mail from said person wanting to sell his wares through my site. :/.. I was surprised to say the least. It went something like this........
I'm sorry to hear about your anxiety problems...etc... and that you don't like my anxiety programme...etc.. But I have devoted my life to helping other with anxiety. *MY BUTT*.. and so have to find a way to earn an income.. *TRY GETTING A JOB LIKE THE REST OF US* Half the cost goes to manufacturing *AND PIGS FLY MATE* and its far cheaper than the cost of therapy sessions :/.. *Hmmmm well as you live in America I can understand that.. God bless the NHS. Thank you for your e.mail as all feedback is useful even the negative..... OH bless do I feel guilty NO I BLOODY WELL DON'T!!

Other than that.. things are great.. the weather is fab..:) and all is well with the world :) Sleep well Chucks :)

Sunday, May 11, 2003

I'm going to Hell because I am a pervert! But shh! Don't tell anyone.
You're one of those perverts. You know what I'm
talking about.

Clean yourself up, and
get outside more! Fucker.

Why Will You Go To Hell?
brought to you by Quizilla
Me????????????? A Perv????????????? :(
Small Rant Coming up.. Pin Your Ears Back! :)

I got an e.mail the other day from a guy claiming to have read my web page :/.. Hhhhmm me think not mate!.. Well to cut a long story short he wants me to post a link to his site :(.. 'What's wrong with that' you may ask.. well .. on checking out his site its one of thoughs.. Give me your money and I'll tell you how to get over anxiety websites :(. Well when I had managed to calm down I sent him a rather nasty e.mail telling him just what I thought of him!.. I mean really... Life is bloody hard enough with this type of problem without dick heads like this person trying to remove your hard earned cash in the so called promise of a quick cure :(.. I can see what he has done... Punched anxiety into Google and my site is one of the top on the list.. The B*****D!!. I can tell you from the bottom of my heart that if I had such a quick fix for this problem I would not be selling it for over £100 but would be happy to post it on here for all to use :).. In the knowledge that some other person would not have to suffer needlessly. Ggggrrrrrr..

Tuesday, May 06, 2003


-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Thanks to Rach for the above test...hehe.. it seems I'm not as mad as i thought I was :)
Enough air miles to get to Australia :)

Wow !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.. LMAO.. Its a bit like waiting for a bus... You don't see one for days then half a dozen come along at the same time :)
Thanks for the tags and comments guys and Bro!!.. Put Huge smiles on my face :)
Thanks ever so for the comment from Ariel ;).. but I already have enough air mails to get to Australia from my Ann Summers online purchases..LOL.. and as much as 6" of jelly like Vibrating plastic doesn't demand back massages ;/.. its just not the same as the real thing :(

Sadly the situation is the same :( and I cant seem to focus on anything else at the mo . With this.. and that..and the other appearing in my inbox the other day :/ I honestly feel that certain people are enjoying my predicament :P One good thing... I sent him to the docs on Friday and she gave him some pills for his back and told him to go to the hospital for his nose :).. They managed to coteries the vessel and fingers crossed its on the mend :).. The pills are working a treat so much so .... yes wait for it.................. HE WENT TO PLAY BLOODY GOLF ON MONDAY... Bloody Men!!! Is it me or has he just lost the plot?.. He says my nagging drove him too it :(.. LMAO.. So guess who's not getting any even though hes feeling better now!

Just off to give his golf clubs a nice burial.. and see how long it takes him to find them in the newly ploughed field at the back of our house :0

Luv to all :)

Friday, May 02, 2003

New Title Please Mr Stone!!

Its Raining folks so I'm back :(
I Feel like a fraud... The title I mean.. I feel its time for a change.. Any Suggestions??
SEX What's that?.. Hubby's back is no better..:(.. And to add a twist to the situation he now has a problem with his nose :/
Every time he comes near me and his blood pressure rises (as it does with the male of the species).. his nose bleeds really bad :(
I'm afraid the lack of attention is taking its tole on me and I'm not sure how long I can hold out :P I fear this will be a real test of marital vows:/
I feel Maybe a good time for a meeting with my *special friend* . He Knows who he is :P
Its a strange thing.... The woman tends to control when.. where etc.. and gets it on demand.. Its a huge shock to the system to be turned away and told.. *Not tonight dear.. I have a nose Bleed*.. Bummer ;(

Had a quick read through blog land and all seems well in the world this evening .. that's always good to hear :).. But I do kind of go a strange HULK color when I hear about people fabulous love Life *Ariel* and littleme sat here with just the PC for a hug ..blub blub :(

I not done a quiz for ages.. so here goes nothing....


what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla

Saturday, April 26, 2003

Anxiety Rating..(2).. Gggrr rating...(2)

For pEg

Another week and a half has past .. and the story is as follows
One 20" stereo colour TV won from the school fair :)
Gardening..Gardening.. and yes you guessed it more gardening :p
Strange large check from the tax people.. and it seems they want to give me £600 squids for doing nothing a month :)
Looking for a new house :).. In Australia :)
Husband still crippled.. aaaaaaaawwwwwwww its not funny anymore :(
Kids Back to school next week..:).. Thank the Lord!!!
One guinea pig dying.. one fish dying.. aaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww.. Major burials in the next few days.. is it a plague ?..:O

Well that's about it really.. The telly was a nice surprise!.. I have been buying tickets from the school for 10 years and never won a thing :).. and then a nice men knocks on my door *And he was a VERY NICE man ;) Telly for Mrs Ford.. Yipeeeeeeeeeee.
Not sure what's going on with the tax people..LMAO.. and the so called HELPLINE..hhhhhhmmmmmmm about as much use as a chocolate fire door, you can never get through, so maybe I should just spend it and plead *Dumb Blonde Housewife* when they want it back :P
Hubby is still not too good.. bless him... but hes being a brave soldier :).. and my massage technique is now so good I think I will start charging!
Brisbane.. Australia.. Sunshine ... large hairy spiders... house with its own swimming pool. Watch this space!!!

Hugs and love to all :)


Thursday, April 17, 2003

Anxiety rating (0) Grr rating (0).. :)

Well flipin eck.. Its been over a week and a half..:O
Slap my wrists for neglecting my page, me been a bad girl :P

Things to report

It turned out to be just the Art Block that had been burnt down, and they hope to have power restored and the rest of school up and running for after the holidays :) They even caught the little B******S that did it :)
The weather is great :) and life is GOOOOOOOOOD :) Busy busy busy but its all good fun :)
Been reading the other blogs on my list and all seems well in Blogland So that's pretty fab :)

Looking through my now diminished stats over the past week or so and found this LMAO.. it seems my little exploits with the massage oil were spotted :(.. hehe Honestly what goes on in some peoples heads ? and what the hell did 'HE' think when he came across my rubbish?...LOL

Hubby still doing the 'I'm a cripple please give me sympathy and nightly massages' routine, bless him :) but I must admit its been great having him around more. Reminds me of the old days when we had the farm and I could wave at him out of the window as he went about his work. He came in for morning tea and lunch and if I was bored I could nip out to see him :) Aaaaaaaawwwwwww bless Love in its first flush, ain't it grand :) and all the little things about him that now make me want to kick his face in :( were not an issue. I can't grumble were very lucky and get on well. Arguments are just something that don't happen in our house :).. We just don't speak to each other for 2 days :/ lol.

Oh well enough of this rubbish. Time to rip off some more Mp3s. Hugs and love to you all x x

Monday, April 07, 2003

Anxiety rating..(1).. Gggrr rating.. (1)

Another week over with :/.. I'm not sure where the time goes these days :P
It should have been school as normal tomorrow, but some little vandal burnt my daughters school down over the weekend :O.. My god what is the world coming to :(. She was finishing in a few weeks anyhow, returning to do her exams in the early summer. But now a large chunk of her work has gone up in smoke, so I have no idea what will happen. Oh well the joys of being a parent :P

Hubby still having a hard time with his back...hehe.. I shouldn't laugh but I cant help myself. I had a bad back for 3 months around Christmas time and he showed me no sympathy :(.. But his is self inflicted.. Its the bloody golf!.. but he wont have it.. Male pride and all that!.. So far hes been to the bone setters and had pins tuck in him :O.. lol.. no that wasn't me with my voodoo doll, shame though maybe I will try that next time:) Hes not been on the golf course for over 2 weeks now .. LMAO.. ahhhhh revenge!!! :)

Love 'N' stuff x x

Wednesday, April 02, 2003

Anxiety rating.. (2).. GGrr rating.. (0)

Enough of living, I'm Knackered!

Time to slow down again for a while me thinks :/. Spent the last few weeks making the average headless chicken look positively lethargic :P If I don't slow down then I'm sure I will find my self heading towards the *lemming Cliff* at great speed. So I'm going to be good, pull my head in an chill for a while.

As each day goes by I see the *old me* more and more :) Its hard to explain but its like I went into a coma when I got pregnant with my son 9 years ago and now I'm just starting to wake. Looking around.. shocked at where I am and How The Bloody hell Did I Get Here?.. Where did the 9 years go?.. Lost below that lemming cliff no doubt :(. Its funny how things suddenly seem clear again. I'm feeling emotions again. Looking at life through the same eyes of 9 years ago :I.. Its all very strange and a little bewildering. I need to take time to sit back and let it all sink in! So much so I have taken to sorting through lots of old boxes I haven't looked in for years *full of Memories* boxes, letters etc. I found a few letters that hubby and I wrote to each other over nearly 11 years ago now :) and I'm glad to say that my spelling has improved greatly :P.. *Well it could not get any worse!* I hear you cry! Its hard to remember the person I was :/.. It does upset me, as I fell I have lost such a chunk of my life to this anxiety :O
Oh well enough reflection. Hope alls well with your world this eve, Hugs x x x
Sunshine on a rainy day :).. WOW.....

I would like to spend the next half an hour explaining to you what I had just done with a bottle of Boots Massage oil and one hubby with a sore back, but I wont :).. after all, now I'm banned from Safeway a girl has to get her fun somehow :P

Sunday, March 30, 2003


Small Interlude into madness :P

I would like to take this opportunity to complain to certain members of my family! :( Just because mothers day and my birthday were next to each other, does not mean you get away with only buying one pressie :(... hehe

Just to point out I have added a couple of new links. One For Johns panic pages... a great site for the gibbering amongst us, with many useful links and also a list of others peoples pages who suffer with similar probs.
Also Hot Flashes in the ring surf section. Great list of sites for the hormonally challenged amongst us :)

Hope your all well. I am keeping up with the reading of pages ::).. just way too lazy to bother posting on my own :/
Catch ya later chucks!

Saturday, March 29, 2003

Sunday, March 23, 2003


Sorry chucks but with spring in the air and the sudden desire to clean/tidy/paint/go out to lunch/have sex on the freezer cabinet at safeway :)\play in my greenhouse\annoy my friends\go swimming\get back to my painting and drawing :) and generally enjoy life.. phew..:P.. I feel time will be short so posting will be sparse if at all :(.. With only so many hours in the day, something has to give.
Hope your all well and happy and I will keep up with the blog reading :) and making annoying bitchy comments on others sites...hehe.. no change there then.
"Its Life Jim.. But Not As We Know It".. one of my fav lines from the old star trek :).. describes it perfectly :)
Have fun chucks and be GOOOOOOOD..


Wednesday, March 19, 2003

Anxiety rating .. (1).. Grr rating.. (1)

Well another fab afternoon spent in the company of brain dead delinquents, and that was just the parent helpers :).. We all went in sane happy smiling people and came out spaced out brain dead zombies with the will to live sucked from our very being :P.. But it was fun and most projects finished.. and WOW 3 more house

Blog roll.. Done
Washing.. sorted
Guinea Pigs.. Fed
Kids.. tucked in bed
Husband.. Tucked in bed also with sore back and swollen toe :(.. Lmao :).. maybe he will give the golf a rest this week, well I can live in hope :O
Crispy Duck...... Yuuuuuummmmmmm.. went down a treat, but had to eat it on my own as hubby was playing *the Wounded Golfer*..hehe
My blog.... almost updated :)
Sea Monkeys... Dead :(.. Oh dear moved them to a new container and they were all dead by morning so had a mini monkey funeral.. RIP SEA MONKEYS
Bed.......... Yes....... I'm off.....:).. sleep well chucks and make sure all the bits that dangle are covered :O

Tuesday, March 18, 2003

Anxiety rating.. (10).. Gggrrrr rating (10)..:O

32 Nine year olds/20 Pairs of scissors/20 Pots of Glue/ Large pile of used denim jeans ????:(

Who would believe that the above would turn into a version of a living hell :(
My God!!! Was I insane to be a *Parent Helper*.. complete with badge :P
Well....... what can I say ........ other than... Kids were never so cheeky when I was at school, and the poor teachers :(.. its not a wage they should get, but more apt would be danger money on a par to the SAS. And the laugh was she asked who the room would like *MRS FORDS* help.. 32 hands went up with expectant faces beneath :/.. I thought to myself.. 'hhhhmm pick a table with some cute little girls on.. easy afternoon'... But NO!!!.. she changed her mind and placed with a table full of the class horrors AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH.. then proceeded to apologies for my forth coming torture :(.. LMAO.. Yes I'm laughing because any child that has ever visited our house for tea will tell you that I make the average loud teacher look positively angelic. Needless to say.. they never stood a chance!!. I soon had the 8 little terrors eating out of my hand , and yes.. we even managed to get some major sticking/cutting/money box building done. I will admit at this point when I first entered the class room, made my way to the back so not to detract the little darlings :P and began to listen to the teacher shouting instructions it was like being back in school all over again :(.. and a minor panic attack had me wanting to flee at great speed to the nearest exit :(.. But I was strong and stayed and a good afternoon was had by all :).. so much so I'm off back tomorrow to repeat the performance :)

Sleep well :)

Oh I even got 3 house points for my efforts ;).. and thats no joke either :)

Saturday, March 15, 2003

Anxiety rating.. (2).. Gggrrr rating..(2)

Well I have been informed that I must make a post..:).. Not that anyone is really interested, but here goes the excitement that has been my life over the past few days.
Got Up.. Did house work.. Went to bed
Got up.. Did more housework.. went to bed again
Got up............ LMAO.. I think you get the message ;)
The red nose day head gear went down a treat :).. So much so he made the local paper.. lol.. Fame at last :).. Well that is a small lie.. he also got in the paper at Christmas with my fantastic Cardboard tree :).. Only prob is, the school now want to recruit me for future art projects :(.. Not my idea of fun, classroom full of other peoples kids :(.. I have enough of a headache coping with my own ;)

The blogging world seems to be having a bit of a lull at the mo. People not bothering to post for days on end, and some even going AWOL never to be herd of again. Is there something I should know?.. Have I missed something? Or maybe its this new PC virus : O Or maybe we just full of the joys of spring. And would rather be in our greenhouses pricking out our seedlings :P.. well It works for me folks!.. And yes I need a life .. and yes when I grow up into a big girl I will go get one :)

Sleep well chucks .. and be good out there! :P

Wednesday, March 12, 2003


Sat her making a red Mohican for my son for Red Nose Day..:O.. Don't ask.. its a parent thing :/.. Can't tell you how many hours I have wasted making stupid costumes, trailing for miles trying to find Red Spray On Hair Dye :(.. and a host of other useless objects that's you only need for one day of your life. And what's even more annoying they only give you a few days notice to put it all together, and I live in the backside of no where where these wondrous items have never even been heard of let alone are in stock :(... Oh hum.. for the joys and shopping of city of life. *Me types Estate Agents Leeds/Bradford into Google*.. I need to get of out this place and find some life :O

Tuesday, March 11, 2003

The pics below were sent to me by a friend and I just had to post them.

Life if Iraq Wins The War !



Monday, March 10, 2003

Anxiety rating.. (not worth a mention).. Grr rating.. (nope nothing here either) :)

A big wave to Mr P.. Hi hun hows it hanging :).. Glad to hear your feeling ggggggooooooooooooodddddddddd :) Will get mail done in next few days I promise :)
Just been watching this thing on Living TV about Diana.. I find the whole thing kind of sad. The poor woman has been dead 5 years and they still trying to make a fast buck out of her. It was all about her ' spiritual side'.. Apparently there was a programme on American TV last night that conducted a seance to try an contact her. But due to our TV laws most of it will never be shown over hear. Not a bad thing me thinks :I.. You have to feel for her boys.. every time I see something about her I cringe and think how must it make them feel. Whatever happened is now history and to me it should stay that way!.. Nothing to gain by picking over the what ifs and what should have beens. Let the Woman Rest In peace.

Nite nite chucks x x

Sunday, March 09, 2003

Anxiety rating..(2) ... Grrr rating (0)

No posts over the past few days... been too busy hanging out in my own head :P.. and as I have multiple personalities its not that hard to do either :)
'I hunger for social relationships' ?... My arse!!.. I hate people, I hate crowds, and generally am very happy in my own company with my other personalities!.. lol. Now lets be honest about this... yes I do like my own company, but I also enjoy the company of my friends too, but I will admit only when I'm in the mood. I'm a very moody person you see.. Love you to death one minuet, then scratch your eyes out the next! Ask my hubby he will tell you. He never knows who is going to wake up with next :P

Had a fun day today playing in my garden... Yes I know its boring but hey, this girl is easily pleased :) Up to date with all my jobs at home for spring.... I need to be organised or a find my anxiety will creep in if I feel things are getting on top of me :(
Kids back at school tomorrow :).. My son got a major telling off on Friday as He called the teacher 'NASTY' when she told the class they couldn't do P.E. LOL.. Hes got a very short fuse like his dad, and when hes tired or not well he seems to develop Tarets Hes just getting to that age where the cute lovable kid I knew gets 'Taken'.. and an obnoxious monster is put in his place :)
Speaking of 'TAKEN' have you been watching it? Its really good.. One of the best Sci Fi things I have seen on telly for a long while.
Time for bed... Sleep well XX

Friday, March 07, 2003


Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
brought to you by Quizilla

Anxiety rating.. (1).. Still got a headache.. (9) :(

What can I say about the above quiz :(.. hhhhhmmmmmmmm some true some not, I'm not a person who suffers from depression thank goodness :O
I Killed the it gave me nightmares :P
New to my blog roll in the boys corner is Boston Blue Eyes :).. some fab stuff on this site, put many a big smile on my face :).. I'll slip it into the blog roll over the weekend cos my head hurts and I can't be bothered with HTML tonite :O
Have a good weekend you all! :)

Wednesday, March 05, 2003

Anxiety rating.. (1) .. Gggrr rating.. (1)

A little explanation for the pic below :P.. Its hard to believe that photo is nearly 30 years old :O I think I'm about 4 (in the middle).. Brother 1 to my right is 6 and brother 2 to my left is 5.. Yes my parents were very busy for a few years ;).. I also have another little brother (6'3" who is 5 years younger than myself. We all fought like cat and dog and I never really got on with the oldest, and in fact don't to this day. Not speaking to the fat self opinionated hypocrite :P.. but the other 2 I love to bits and keep in touch with :).. Families.. hhhhhmmmmm

Poor pEg is ill again... aaaaaaaawwwwww bless. Its been one of the worse years for a long while for bugs :(.. you no sooner get over one thing and then you inflicted with another :(.. Can't wait for spring and summer :)

Jokes in bad taste :P
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:

Cheese Sandwich $ 1.50
Chicken Sandwich $ 2.50
Hand Job $10.00

Checking his wallet he finds one single ten dollar bill.
He walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"

"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am!"

The man replies "Well go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

Love and hugs to all :)

Tuesday, March 04, 2003

Anxiety rating..(1) ... Ggrrr rating..(2)

Been playing with my new toy :).. its taking some getting used to but I'm getting there. The main reason for buying it was to sort some old pics and get copies onto disc, with a bit of luck I will get organised and have a weekend at it :).. the photos that is :P

I'm the dwarf in glasses  :P

Sleep well x x

Monday, March 03, 2003

Anxiety rating..(2) .. Gggrr rating.. (1).. No headache today :)

Face Lift or wind Tunnel?

Well I can't believe my eyes :O.. has anyone seen the new Simply Red video?.. Its a good song.. music is a rip off of one of Hall & Oats songs, but good nether the less. But what has he done to his face :(.. The last time I saw him his skin resembled a contour map of the Yorkshire wolds (You have to live here to understand that joke!).. and now he has the complexion of cling film stretched over a toilet bowl :) (Nasty trick often played in school His eyes are so tight he can hardly close them poor guy.. So please don't try and insult my intelligence Mr Hucknel.. either you had a face lift or you spent the last 12 months in a wind tunnel :)

Glad I got that of my chest ;)
Yes folks I'm feeling better today :).. first day in nearly 2 weeks without a headache.. Yippppeeeeee. And I stayed strong and kept away from the caffeine.. lol.. like anyone really is interested or cares :( I'm sad to report the SOYA MILK took a back seat...hehe.. I will give it another go when I'm feeling on top form again.
I see Dragonthief is a lover of that Brown goo called Marmite.. aaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh.. my god does this man need some psychiatric help?.. its like eating an OXO cube without making it into gravy . *YUCK*.. I'm more of a chocolate hazelnut spread kind of a girl :).. yummmmmmmmm, I don't stick it on bread, just like to scoop it out with fingers :(.. Bad habit.. maybe I should give that up too :P Thanx for all the comments you fab people :).. they cheered me up when I was feeling sorry for myself.. Sleep well chucks :) X

Friday, February 28, 2003

You are the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee! Worrysome and flighty, you do go round in the nude...

Take the Which Breakfast Cereal Character Are You? quiz.
Published by JC.

Lol..thats me alright :)

Thursday, February 27, 2003

Anxiety rating.. (3) .. I'm fed up rating. (9)

I'm having a bit of a rough time at the mo :(.. combination of 5 days of headaches, wrong time of the month, kids on holiday, and my stress level is through the roof :(.. I feel so wound up I think my head is going to blow at any moment :I.. That's what you get for being clever and trying to make too many changes at once :O. I'm lucky though, the sticky bits come less often these days and are easier to get over, I'm sure I'll be OK in a few days :)
So If I don't post for a while you know why... On the bright side all is well at home, maybe its just my time to have them running around after me a bit for a change :)
Love and hugs to all and I hope your well :)

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

Anxiety rating.. (1) .. Gggrrr rating ..(2).. I want my bed rating..(9) :I

Good to see Haloscan are up to par..:(.. no comments yet again :(.. but on the good side I got smilies back in my tag box and that's still working :)..YAY......
Nothing much to report. Kids Ok now but hubby full of it :(.. poor love.. and me, well I still got a headache :(.. can't work out were the detox ended and sinus infection started :(.. And oh yes 2 lovely black eyes :).. I look gorgeous, other than that not feeling too bad, though I must say the SOYA MILK took some getting used to. Yes another one of my bits to my changed diet :(.. it contains natural estrogens which is ideal for the hormonally challenged among us :).. But it tastes like S**T :O
Got my new toy today Paint Shop Pro with my graphics do dars..hehe.. just had a quick play . Its fab. Now I can get on and re vamp some of these old pics, should be fun :)
Oh well I have bored both you and myself enough so time for an early night me thinks, Hope your all well, just going for a quick blog read before bed:)

Monday, February 24, 2003

Anxiety rating..(1) .. ggrrrr rating...(1)

Detox anyone?

He he.. as part of my diet changes I have to give up caffeine...aaaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhh :(.. I stopped the coffee about 2 years ago and that wasn't too, bad just ended up drinking more tea And yes, I don't drink or smoke either..:/.. so why you may ask?..what else is there in life worth living for?.. lol.. Well I always find sex is a good substitute for most things! :).. Get back to the tale.. yes .. 4 days without TEA .. hhhhmmmmmmm did you know tea contains half as much caffeine per cup as coffee, and that it contains tannins (prob spelt wrong) that stop you getting all the nutrients from the food you eat!.. I bet your all excited and reading this with great interest now!! ;). 4 days without tea and 4 days of headaches :(. You also get very addicted to it and after way too many years of drinking anything from 6 to 12 cups a day I'm in withdrawal!! .LOL.. yes its true.. you get withdrawal from tea just like you do with all other drugs. But I'm starting to feel better now, though I have had some strange erotic dreams over the past few nights :).. I wonder if they will ware off too.. hehe.

Corrie was a bit GOOD tonight :).. had me glued to my sofa.. will he or won't her kill Gail?.. hhhhhmmmmmmmmm me thinks not. He will disappear, only to be found dead somewhere having killed himself.. well I do write the plot in my spare time.. did I not mention that?
Sleep well all :)

Sunday, February 23, 2003

Pink info
Your Heart is Pink

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla
Anxiety rating.. (1) .. Gggrr rating..(2)

Yipeeeee my Paint shop Pro with graphics pad/pen and mouse comes next week :).. I need to get out more :I
Well pEg what can I say... 'what's for dinner mum?'..'jelly and kids party food'... 'Oh fab..yummm'.. Well they enjoyed it but hubby is signing the forms to have me committed as I write :O.

cute but psycho
you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Well this fits me perfectly :)
Hugs and love to all..:)

Saturday, February 22, 2003

Anxiety Rating ..(1).. Gggrr rating.. (1).. Brain dead rating.. off the scale :(

Hormones aaarrrrgggggghhhh.. my head feel like I borrowed it from someone with a frontal lobotomy :P... I feel so strange I cant explain. Woke this morning feeling gooooooodddddd.. I have been having strange flashback things.. almost like a bit of me that disappeared 9 years ago is finding its way home :).. Hard to explain really.. just like a part of my brain that went into coma has now started to awake :).. bringing the old me back.. giddy girly happy full of life and love of life.. Its really strange. I'm so used to the 'this' me.. the one that is paranoid and numb to all that goes on around.. Its a shock to be reminded of what an outgoing person I was and how I never let anything or anyone bother/get to me.. just sailed through life with a grin on my face :).. Shouted, balled, ranted when needed then a second later Happy and couldn't give a damn..hehe So folks if I start going all strange on you, don't be alarmed it will pass and normality will resume in a short time :)

Not managed to get anything done with the pics yet :I been busy with jobs at home that needed doing, will try and do a bit next week as the kids are off school so my time is more my own :)
Just been reading the blog roll.. hhhhhmmmmm.. many sad things going on for people at the mo.... and its hard when you know there is nothing you can do to help them :/.. hope things come OK in the end :)
I often think just how lucky I am to have the stability I have.. Yes many bad things have happened over the past few years that have caused much worry for us all, but we got through it all as a family. Supported each other when it was needed. I know I did mention about my hubby a while ago, but it was just my paranoia.. there was no real need to be alarmed in any way. Funny how things can seem to be one thing if you take them apart enough. I am a very lucky girl to have what I have. Relationship of 10 years strong and very loving one at that. 2 healthy kids.. nice home.. no money worries.. Most peoples dream I guess and I do take it for granted sometimes as I'm sure were all guilty of that from time to time :/

Enough of my ramblings.. Hope you all sleep well.. Much Love and hugs to all x x