Saturday, November 30, 2002

Anxiety rating ..(3)

No tropical disease to report but I don't feel any better either..:-(.. Got all my jobs done though. Pigs nice and clean but it took 3 you want to know why look at the pictures link below..posted some more pics there and other bits also.
Half way through the Tree good...:-D
And now i'm done head hurts and I feel like I have been trampled by a herd of elephants..:-P....should pass in a couple of days I hope.

When I started this blog just over a week seems like forever only goal was in some way to make another persons life in some tiny way better. Either by giving them hope or making them smile with my ramblings. So if I have done this already then for me it is a huge success.
I have had a hard day today so will write in more detail tomorrow. x x
Look at the time..:-(..
Went to bed, couldn't sleep so came down and did the ironing...lmao........Either I'm totally mad or this bug has just reached my brain:-D...I hate ironing and only do it because no one else in the house will. Yet I enjoyed it...lmao..oh dear must be madness!!..but I do feel a little better..:-)
The weekend is upon us and my chores to do are...Make a tree costume for my son William for his its Blue peter cardboard, paint and glue time..:-P....should be fun!..... Oh yes and the not so enjoyable task of cleaning out my pigs!.:-(..I always look forward to being up to my armpits in pig s**t...NOT!!!!!!!.. But they look up at me with their sparkling little eyes and I'm gone..just have to dive right in there. I usually come out of the garage looking like I have slept in a barn overnight!..:-D..But I love their little fury butts so cant help myself.
Maybe I will try to get some sleep and see what tomorrow brings. Some horrible tropical disease knowing my nite x

Friday, November 29, 2002

Anxiety rating..(2)

I feel strange..:-O...not I'll, just like I'm coming down with the flu..aaaaahhhhhhh..
Its Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:-).............. I have added a links page to the other site..(Other stuff..Pictures Etc)..Some of it is really funny, some of it is very rude and others well what can I say ..pointless but its so bad you just have to laugh..:-D
I'm not feeling my self this my mind is totally blank!.....haha...oh dear I really am coming down with something.

Thursday, November 28, 2002

Anxiety rating..(2)..:-P
Feeling a bit more human today..:-D..Even now it gets me when I think I am coping well, but that's just the way I guess. Over the years I have learnt to except it as 'my lot' in life. The way I see it is there are so many others out there in the world living with terrible diseases like AIDS, Cancer and a host of other problems brought on by their geographical location, such as starvation war etc....I could go on and on. So my little problem somehow seems very small and unimportant.
Enough of the sadness that fills the world, I'll move onto something a little more up lifting, a wonderbra perhaps! saviour of the female No serious now...I have made a few more changes to the site. I finally gave up on 'Fat Kitty' who used to live in the right hand margin..:-(..maybe he is stuck up a tree with the brigade strike at the moment, I feel I will never see him again..:-O.. So have added something else in his place. I like the mood thingy..hehe.... I have also done a little more on the other site other pics plus a *poem Type Thing* call it that because I have no idea how to explain...;-)..give it a read you will understand!
A big (((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))) for my brother Darryl..:-)..sent him the addy last much love to you bro!

I found a chat room last night for people with phobias etc...I nearly passed out..:-O..there were real people in there!!.LMAO..usually when you go in these things all you get is the odd message of some poor bewildered person who sat there for 15mins then gave up the will to live and left! no..there were real people both men and women and all really nice too. I have posted a link in the margin on the left.
Its joke time again....:-(..Finding things that are printable is a tall

Van Gogh goes in to a pub and his mate asks him if he wants a drink.
"No thank" said Vincent, "I've got one ear."
Well I thought it was funny..:-P

Wednesday, November 27, 2002

Anxiety rating..(3)
Recovered from my little mishap with the PC yesterday..:-P...Got out the really old one and put it back together, worked fine first maybe I'm not so useless after all. But I fear that I have caused the other PC some serious damage, so I will leave it to the experts to sort!..Learnt my lesson:-D.
A big Wave to Brain..:-D..I finally got round to sending him e.mail with this addy, so if your reading this Brain "Get back to work!"..LoL
My anxiety hit a high yesterday not felt that bad for months but its a mixture of hormone/PC related problems...LoL..they seem to intertwined these days..hehe.. I'm well and happy most of the time these days, thanks to Cognitive therapy and a host of other things I have picked up along the way. My anxiety, though still there in the background, doesn't stop me from doing anything...:-D..So I guess that's as near to a cure as your going to get!
I mentioned in an earlier post that I had always been an anxious person. My problems started after a near death situation when I had my son . When I came round from the c section I was shaking and it seems I've not stopped shaking ever since..:-(.. The shock to my system and the damage caused by the chronic blood pressure left me both physically and mentally damaged. Its been a hard struggle to get back to any kind of normal life, but I think I'm really getting there:-D

No joke yesterday so you will have to suffer 2 this evening!
Q:..What do you call a Welshman with a sheep under his arm?
A:..A Newlywed

Q:..What do you call a Welshman with a sheep under each arm?
A.. A Pimp.

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

Anxiety rating...(5)..........
Well lesson one today...If you don't know what your doing then don't play with it!....:-(
Have just spent the best part of 3 hours trying to fit a new bit to my old pc so I could set up a network...what a disaster..:-(
Now it wont work at trying to save money and do it myself..I have probably ended up costing myself a small lesson learnt very hard!!!!
Other than my large hiccup things been ok today..........I want to say a big HI to Joel we have been chatting on the net now for a few years and I've grown to appreciate his wisdom. He's just trying to cheer me up as I'm righting this. God Bless You Joel your a good friend!
Well that's enough for me this evening I'm all washed out..:-(..but I will be back tomorrow hopefully feeling more positive.

Monday, November 25, 2002

Anxiety Rating..(2)..Thank goodness Monday is over with!..hehe

Well yippee, the lovely chaps upstairs saw fit to sort my probs with blogger and I'm now up and running..:-D
Though for some reason my pussy seems to have gone walk about from the right hand margin..:-(..I'll have a look later.
I have put a link through to another site where I will keep my pics and stuff that will be changed on a weekly basis. Not much there yet other than a picture of me looking like I have just found out my lottery ticket was in my jeans when I washed them..:-( and my numbers have just come up!..LOL

Well today..LoL..what can I say..:-O....Almost killed myself while replacing a bulb in my daughters bedroom. Being of that awkward age that she is at, she decided that it had to be replaced that moment!..I was just on my way out to collect my son so was in a rush this point the following would of been of help.. *note to brain! not attempt such a tricky maneuver without having some one hold the Cola Bin..(Don't ask...LoL)and never while your in such a rush you meet yourself coming back the other way!*..But sadly brain was not in gear and I was left dangling from the lampshade..:-O.....LoL.. Strange I never saw such a thing mentioned in the ' housewife/mother/gardener/general dogs body handbook'...:-P..oh well I survived to tell the tale.
It seems I'm getting the hang of this net programing thingy better than I thought..:-)..and I have really enjoyed it so far. Had a few hiccups but on the whole pretty simple, even for a intellectually starved, brain dead housewife like myself...;-) So I'm going to stick some more pics up on the other site and then if I'm feeling really brave I may even give the URL to some of my friends for them to slap me down and tell me I need to get out more!!! I know there right..but I'm having so much fun....:-D
I found another good site for us anxious folk..:-)..I put a link below the panic free one..give it a go!... He seems to have come through the anxiety thing with the same good result as I have using the same method, So it must work..LOL....Don't ever give up trying it took me 7 years of bad symptoms and a lifetime of just being very anxious to realize I even had a serious problem. I got through it and you can too! Give it a try you having nothing to loose and a whole new life to gain and myself and many others are proof that it is achievable.
Now before I go to play with some download files..;-D..(I'm really hooked aren't I..LoL) I intend to post a joke at the end of all future posts. That should be a task in itself..LoL..But I will rise to the challenge...Here goes.
Two Goldfish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says 'Do you know how to drive this thing?'
Sorry..LoL..but finding a clean one that I can use proved harder than I first imagined..LoL

Sunday, November 24, 2002

I'm still having a few problems with the blogger products and my blog spot plus account is not working as yet so no pics..:-(

Anxiety Rating (3)........Its Sunday again and how I hate Monday mornings!!!!...aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Life is Ok at the moment not too much stress to deal with. My 15 year old daughter is doing her Moks at the moment so she is finding things hard. She also suffers from an anxiety condition which started as far back as her first starting school. With the end of school in site,after Easter next year, she seems to be making real steps forward..:-)
Back to my story................
My anxiety goes back as far as I can remember also. Never had any self confidence, small insecure and generally feeling like a small fish in a huge pool full of sharks!..LoL Strange but the more I speak to people with similar problems, this seems to be a common thread. So I have come to the conclusion that its just the way we are made and all it takes is circumstances, situations to bring it out.
I survived school just, but must admit I hated most of it. The feelings I had back then are still there and I find it really hard now having 2 kids of my own, and having to send them back into that shark infested water! I think that's why my anxiety hit an all time high with the birth of my second child. My daughter had started school and then there was all this extra responsibility, something that again I feel is common in people who suffer from anxiety. It seems that just keeping your self together on a day to day basis is enough to push you to the limits without the extra burden of others. And in this lies my first major mistake. I should have never had any kids until I had come to terms with myself and my own anxiety. Well that's what my CPN said any
Just a quick note about my links so far.....
Pictonary and Word Games are great fun if you just want to unwind and there is also a chat option in all rooms so a god place to make new friends also..:-)...At the Word games site if you go back to the home page there are also a collection of other fun games of all different types..a good way to just forget your problems if only for the odd hour.
The Manx Forum link 'does what it says on the tin' Manxnet is the net service for the Isle of Man and their Forum site is one of the best that I have come across so far. It covers all their local issues but also has many general topics to join in with ;-)...and they don't seem to mind us foreigners joining in. So have fun!!!!
Worlds 3D is a 3D interactive chat service. You get to choose and build your own there are many worlds to visit. Great if you fancy chat with a difference.

Saturday, November 23, 2002

A BIG HELLO to the world!
Let me introduce myself :-P...My name is Nikki I am 33 years old, married with 2 children. A garage full of 13 Guineapigs, a shed full of Budgies oh yes and not forgetting Molly the Redrump, she's a hand reared Parakeet who lives in the house almost free range...LoL
Anxiety Gibbering Wreck?...What's it all about?...Well on this blog I hope to take a light hearted view of Anxiety/Panic attacks and the affect it has had on my life, and that of the people around me. I say light hearted because it will in no way be depressing or dwelling on the bad side of the issues but rather a celebration of life and how you can overcome this condition with help and support and your own determination to be free of its grip once and for all!!
In my 3 years as a *net head*..LoL... I have been surprised by how little positive sites/webpages there are, and the few that are available seem only to serve to offer 'miracle cures' in exchange for your hard earned cash :-( So you can imagine what a nice surprise when I came across the Panic Free website (I have posted a link take a look!). Having used this page myself and found it helpful I decided to have a go, but to do it my way..:-D It may take some time to get the links/comment boxes/pictures etc. up and running so please bare with me while I iron out the glitches.