Saturday, December 13, 2008

Anxiety Ramble

What is it about me saying I'm well, that means within weeks I'm going to be a gibbering wreck
I think its called tempting fate :( Well I have to say the past three and a half years despite the odd blip have been really good. Ive had long periods with little or no symptoms and have been able to do stuff I haven't done for years. Its been great, so Its bloody hard to go back to feeling so stressed anxious and worn out again. But at least I recognised the signs early before It had too much time to take hold, and was able to make changes to my life to reduce the problems.
I have to say that I put my wellness from the past three years down to a change in diet. I also started talking St Johns wort about 2 years ago and that seems to have been the biggest factor. Talking St johns, though I didn't twig at the time, has been a huge stabilising effect on my condition, meaning when I had blips I was able to pull myself up very quickly indeed and not let it get on top of me.
This latest onslaught has been caused by a few things... really busy with work, extra work load at home too, and a few other outside issues going on that tipped me over the edge, self inflected and I should have know better, but hey we can all say that looking back :(
I have to say though that everytime I have another bad outbreak I learn more about my problem, I understand it a little more and am more able to cope, once the initial OMG not again has passed. I'm not so frightened of it anymore as I once was and by learning as much as I can about the condition I am slowly finding some peace within my self and coming to terms with it.
I think as time goes on, and more stuff is learnt about these types of conditions people will begin to realise that having a *mental* illness is just the same as been born with a limb missing. I think they are finally starting to cotton on to the fact that these problems are in fact caused by chemical in balances in the brain and even hard wiring problems of the brain that mean we cant possible function like other people do. I mean you wouldn't think less of a human being that only had one leg,yet people still ridicule and avoid people for having *mental* illness :(

Im positive and upbeat and looking forward to christmas and the new year also trialing another herbal product called 5-HTP that also helps with seratonin so fingers crossed this helps too.
Merry christmas to all x