Monday, December 30, 2002

Anxiety rating..(1)

Looking forward to the day that reaches (0)....:-)..It seems all I am left with these days is the anxiety that I had before all my troubles started. Not liking busy Places or travelling or going anywhere new to me. But I settle when I get there and am usually fine. So with that in mind I feel I have come a long way. With 2003 round the corner I feel its a good time to set some new goals for myself as I have achieved all of what I wanted to do so here goes..

I would like to be more confident around others especially women!..I find women hard work..they never say what they mean and then bitch about you when you cant work it out..why is that?.....But you a woman I hear you shout you should know!...sorry guys but I'm with you on this one..women are strange creatures!!!..:-)
I want to be able to look in a mirror and like the person I see!..I'm getting there on that one but still room for improvement.
I want to be able to get to know a person before I make a judgement on them. One of my big faults judging the book by its cover and I scream blue murder when others do it to me..:/
I want to put others before my self and be less selfish with my time...that's a big one for me.
I was looking at my hubby last night as he lay in bed sleeping, and thought to my self all the times I get angry and frustrated at him...why?..does he give me enough love?...yes he smothers me with it....does he not give me enough attention.....I only have to ask and he is there for comfort or support......Do I need for anything? he would gladly give me anything I like or want.....Is he ever abusive to me in anyway?..NEVER!!...So what is the problem then why am I angry?...the answer I have come up with is..I'm not angry at him at all..its me I am angry with for allowing all of this to happen, to allow myself to get to this state before asking for help, for not achieving the things I want to do. ITS ME THAT HAS THE PROBLEM WITH ME...and I will make that my new goal for 2003....sleep well honeys..:-)

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