Saturday, November 01, 2008

Finding yourself.

My life has not been easy.. full of many highs and lows. Like most peoples I guess, but at times Ive been tested to my very phisical and mental limits. Just when I thought I couldnt get any lower, fate would hit me with a good kick in the ribs to keep me down a little longer. Though despite all this I'm still thankfull for every moment and have grown so much as a person because of it.
I truly believe that had I not suffered the things I have in my life, at the age of almost 40 I would now be a very miserable, unhappy and twisted person. Full of regret and with no understanding of who I was and no appreciation of the blessing that life is.
The pain and loss has taught me to treat each day as if it where my last. Love thoughs around me without condition, not to judge on first appearances and always give the benefit of the doubt. Life is so very short and can be taken from you at any moment so dont take a moment in vain.
When people around you try your pataience, hurt you without thought and trample over you to get where they think they need to be, see it as a test of your own self control, empathy and understanding.
Ive learnt that to be truly happy and to love others without condition you first have to be happy with yourself and come to an understanding of your own mortality. Only then can you find some sort of inner peace and the strength to deal with all that life throws at you.
This sounds like one of thoughs religous ramblings where people nod off in the church But its not based on religon what so ever . Its all about human nature and understanding what we are and the traits we inherit from our genes. How to make the best of the good ones and learn to control the bad ones.
Anxiety for me has been a life saver!! I cant put it any other way without it and the path it has taken me on, I would dred to think what and where I would be now.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason, with the exception of death .. thats just inevitable :)

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