Last year started with such promise, I was feeling better than I had done in years. Life was generally looking good all round and my only goal was to loose about 10lbs and stay sane.. ROFL Well that was wishful thinking on my part I can tell you :( Well to my credit I did loose the weight, but that was more due to anxiety than anything else…lol
But I have kept it off.. or should that be .. put back on the stone the anxiety took off..lol
I don’t know why I’m laughing cos it wasn’t funny at the time. But I guess life is just one huge learning curve.
What did last year teach me?.. well that would be.. yes I do have a recognised condition called GAD.. and yes I was born with it and it just takes situations/circumstances to bring it out. Its not my fault, the things that have happened to me in my life have just made it worse. I have done much research on the problem, and through that, come to a greater understanding of it! Knowledge is power!! Being able to understand why your body does what it does makes living with it all so much easier. Understanding that it is all down to a part of the brain Called The Basal ganglia.. (probably spelt that wrong lol) This part of the brain is what sets the level for stress and anxiety, and people with GAD tend to be born with this part of the brain overactive to start with. Thus it talking us far less time to reach our panic state. Learning about it has made me really look back over my life, and I can say without any hesitation that I have always been this way. My earliest memories are of being anxious. School was a living hell.. LOL and all my life I have coped by using *avoidance* to deal with the things that caused me anxiety. But as you become an adult with responsibilities, suddenly you just can’t run away any more. Things have to be done and dealt with on a daily basis whether we like it or not !! And that is the answer my friends, learning new habits to replace the old panic ridden ones. Replacing the negative with the positive. Seeing situations for what they are.. and not what your Ganglia would have you believe lol That bloody ganglia has a lot to answer for I can tell you. I would go and have the thing removed If I thought there was a chance of normality..lol
Anxiety ramble over!!
What did you get for crimbo? I got this……
Well thats a lie really but what fun girls.. what fun… and no more washing up too.. double bonus!!
Well life is still strange here in the nut house. Kelly my daughter is doing OK and appears *Almost Sane* most of the time. William is going into *schoolitus mode* in readiness for school tomorrow. I had hoped that the anxiety would not affect him with him being male, but sadly as more time goes by it become apparent that even he is suffering. School and the thought of it is starting to make him physically sick too . I guess all I can do is support him as best I can and try to get him through it . It never rains in this house .. it just bloody pours down!!. A whole family of Gibbering Wrecks!!.. Please bring me the clever dick doctor who thinks this condition is not inherited!!.. cos I’ll gladly remove his sweetbreads while he’s still wearing them and fry them up for lunch!
On the more positive side… YAY.. well almost Robs doing OK Thank goodness. Hes got over the worst of his *new career* nerves and is starting to enjoy it. Though money is still a worry and I think that will remain for a while yet, were keeping the wolf from the door and looking forward to a busy year on the plumbing side!.. Fingers crossed or I’m chucking myself under the next Double Decker!!.. Knowing my look it will just go over and me and not leave a scratch.