Anxiety Blog, Living with an anxiety disorder. Ups downs and how I make the best of it all :)
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Hell.. Can't wait :P
You have been involved in a shameful online RPG,
and your soul will never be clean. You've
soiled the memory of a dead author and
neglected yourself and other human beings for
months at a time; there is no way to make up
for this. The Lord has turned His eyes from you
forever!
Keep back, you utter trash!
Why Will You Go To Hell?
brought to you by Quizilla
Moi?...Littleme?.. well I guess I'm such a scary person its all I deserve..LOL
TROLLED :(
ROFL.. what did I tell you.. look in my shout box to the right..:/
there's always one who just can't resist..lol
Well I say this to you.. MAX .. The fact that you stayed long enough to get the impression that I'm scary speaks volumes :) Come on Max.. come and join the *SCARY/Mad Folk*.. you know you want to really!!.. no point hiding your light under a bushel any longer.. come out of the closet and be proud to be **Scary** I know I am!! :)
there's always one who just can't resist..lol
Well I say this to you.. MAX .. The fact that you stayed long enough to get the impression that I'm scary speaks volumes :) Come on Max.. come and join the *SCARY/Mad Folk*.. you know you want to really!!.. no point hiding your light under a bushel any longer.. come out of the closet and be proud to be **Scary** I know I am!! :)
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Blessed :)
I consider myself to be very blessed. :).. I have a loving family that are always there for me. Great friends, some that have been around from when I was a child. 2 Great kids that drive me bonkers and keep me on my toes. ;) And what can only be classed as an easy life by most peoples standards. But every so often in ones life you come across a person who *rocks your world*.. its the only way I can describe it really. I have mentioned this person a few times in the past months, but not wanting to put a curse on the friendship, I have kept my feelings under wraps. But now I feel is a good time to come out of the closet so to speak ;)
So.... to the so called friend who said " I give it 6 weeks, he only wants you for sex" I say this.... "please don't judge others by your own standards!!" Ok maybe you were just worried for me.. but the thought that you felt I didnt know the difference between a genuine person and someone on the take really hurt me! 6 months into this friendship I feel I have someone in my life that has made a huge difference to who I am. His kindness, understanding/love/friendship has taken my breath away at times and left me wondering 'what wonderfull thing did i do in life to deserve you to come into it' So Mr Robinson..:) I dedicate this lovely song to you.. and its sent with all my heart and a huge thankyou for just being you!! Who ever becomes Mrs Robinson is going to be one very lucky lady indeed!
So.... to the so called friend who said " I give it 6 weeks, he only wants you for sex" I say this.... "please don't judge others by your own standards!!" Ok maybe you were just worried for me.. but the thought that you felt I didnt know the difference between a genuine person and someone on the take really hurt me! 6 months into this friendship I feel I have someone in my life that has made a huge difference to who I am. His kindness, understanding/love/friendship has taken my breath away at times and left me wondering 'what wonderfull thing did i do in life to deserve you to come into it' So Mr Robinson..:) I dedicate this lovely song to you.. and its sent with all my heart and a huge thankyou for just being you!! Who ever becomes Mrs Robinson is going to be one very lucky lady indeed!
I knew I loved you
Savage Garden
Maybe it’s intuition
But some things you just don’t question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I’ve found my best friends
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
There’s just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I’m searching for
I think I’ve found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I’ve found you
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
Maybe it’s intuition
But some things you just don’t question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant
And there it goes
I think I’ve found my best friends
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
There’s just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I’m searching for
I think I’ve found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I’ve found you
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life
Ok were maybe a litte late but this just had me in stitches so I had to share it."Queen Camilla"
Some great stuff on that site.. stop and giggle a while.. I know I did! :P
Some great stuff on that site.. stop and giggle a while.. I know I did! :P
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Quick Joke.. and its clean...YAY..
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies" he responded.
"Oh! Killing any?" she asked.
"Yep, 3 males and 2 females" he replied.
Intrigued, she asked "How can you tell?"
"3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone" he responded
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies" he responded.
"Oh! Killing any?" she asked.
"Yep, 3 males and 2 females" he replied.
Intrigued, she asked "How can you tell?"
"3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone" he responded
Pics :)
Yes its that time again folks where I bore you with pictures of my tropical fish!! so here goes
Jack My dwarf Honey Gourami.. off the cute scale this guy :)
My male lace gourami.. maybe I should name him..any ideas?
One of my New Guinea Red Rainbows trying to swim fast enough so i cant take a pic...ggggggggrrrr
Baby Bristle nose plec... Cute :)
Big blue.. my male opaline gourami
Yesssssssssssss I fell better now I have done that, and I know how desperate you were to see them! ;)
Jack My dwarf Honey Gourami.. off the cute scale this guy :)
My male lace gourami.. maybe I should name him..any ideas?
One of my New Guinea Red Rainbows trying to swim fast enough so i cant take a pic...ggggggggrrrr
Baby Bristle nose plec... Cute :)
Big blue.. my male opaline gourami
Yesssssssssssss I fell better now I have done that, and I know how desperate you were to see them! ;)
Saturday, May 07, 2005
AWOL :/
Ok so yes I've been AWOL again. No change there then....
But it has been a funny few months. Husband took his 10 day holiday on a nice tropical island somewhere off Hawaii :( .Leaving me here to sob myself to sleep :/
Well not quite, but I did ball my eyes out for the first few hours after he went. Then spent that evening/early morning having the usual panic attack and feeling like shit . :( Not good!! But after I liked my wounds for a while and realized I had to cope I just did...Well... As you just do I guess. Well its not like I had a bigger work load or anything, cos it doesn't do much around the house anyhow..lol It was just the locking the house up on my own on a night bit.. turning the key and knowing me and the kids were on our own. Not a nice feeling after 13 years of sharing everything. But you get over it and deal with it and move on. All in all we did great :) right upto the day before Rob came back, and my son William started with Symptoms not unlike an asthma attack.. It scared the shit out of me I can tell you. As they have stopped the local emergency doctor visits around here, and the nearest doctor now comes from Hull and it takes upto 2 hours. With no transport I was a real wreck hoping he was going to be OK. He had a nice steamy hot bath and that eased it so he did get some sleep, and I could rest a little easier. Kids... grrrrrrrrrr you never stop worrying about the little blighters do you.
Rob returned home full of Gifts/remorse and promises that he would not do it again ..lol Well lets face it girls.. we've all been there before haven't we... Course you won't Rob... Cos your divorced if you do it again you bastard!!!
Well then I have to get used to the idea that he's back.. and to be honest I'm not so sure how I was going to feel.. do you forgive and move on... or make the shits life hell for a few weeks?... oooooooooo its a tough call that one... and I feel I must be getting old as I went for the easy.. Forgive The Shit.. So life's back to normal.. sort of. Well it did sort out a lot of things to be honest.. made us talk about stuff we had been avoiding. So I guess it had the effect on me that he wanted.
Other stuff..
Been busy with my new project too these past 6 weeks or so and its almost ready to go.. I'll post details when I'm done :).. and sorry to disappoint you all but its not the E.Bay used panty scam!! :)
Stats..
Id like to take this opportunity to say how sorry I am to the people who stumble upon this site. Well Lets face it guys.. when Your doing searches for things like..
Kick Testicles..
Days out in East Yorkshire..
32DD and still growing
Nervous breakdown
Tarets Syndrome
32dd Bay area
growing 32ddd
You must be so disappointed by finding this load of dribble.. When I read through my latest list of hits, I get the strange feeling there was a pattern forming somewhere. if Only I could see what it was :/
I would also Like to say a huge thank you to all the people over the years who have read this rubbish and been kind enough to comment.. either by shoutbox comment box or private e.mail. You're all great and a huge **HUG** is on its way to you all. x
In my 2 years of doing this blog I have never been **trolled** once. What a lucky girl I am. (Holds breath and waits for the on slaut of nutters to slag me to death over the next few weeks!) For thoughs not in the no... Trolling is a term used to describe sad people who get a huge kick out of leaving nasty comments on peoples pages, it also seems to happen a lot on forums too. Kinda sad really.. and I'm sure there is a Boffin out there with a head shaped like a light bulb who could shed some light on (from his huge light bulb head) the subject and why these guys feel the need to do such a thing. I always go by the saying..
**If you haven't got anything nice to say, Then Don't say anything you bastard!** well it works for me :P
Off to bed now... yes I'm finally sleeping in my own bed again after 4 years.. Bloody hell!.. Its a long story..:(
Nite nite x
But it has been a funny few months. Husband took his 10 day holiday on a nice tropical island somewhere off Hawaii :( .Leaving me here to sob myself to sleep :/
Well not quite, but I did ball my eyes out for the first few hours after he went. Then spent that evening/early morning having the usual panic attack and feeling like shit . :( Not good!! But after I liked my wounds for a while and realized I had to cope I just did...Well... As you just do I guess. Well its not like I had a bigger work load or anything, cos it doesn't do much around the house anyhow..lol It was just the locking the house up on my own on a night bit.. turning the key and knowing me and the kids were on our own. Not a nice feeling after 13 years of sharing everything. But you get over it and deal with it and move on. All in all we did great :) right upto the day before Rob came back, and my son William started with Symptoms not unlike an asthma attack.. It scared the shit out of me I can tell you. As they have stopped the local emergency doctor visits around here, and the nearest doctor now comes from Hull and it takes upto 2 hours. With no transport I was a real wreck hoping he was going to be OK. He had a nice steamy hot bath and that eased it so he did get some sleep, and I could rest a little easier. Kids... grrrrrrrrrr you never stop worrying about the little blighters do you.
Rob returned home full of Gifts/remorse and promises that he would not do it again ..lol Well lets face it girls.. we've all been there before haven't we... Course you won't Rob... Cos your divorced if you do it again you bastard!!!
Well then I have to get used to the idea that he's back.. and to be honest I'm not so sure how I was going to feel.. do you forgive and move on... or make the shits life hell for a few weeks?... oooooooooo its a tough call that one... and I feel I must be getting old as I went for the easy.. Forgive The Shit.. So life's back to normal.. sort of. Well it did sort out a lot of things to be honest.. made us talk about stuff we had been avoiding. So I guess it had the effect on me that he wanted.
Other stuff..
Been busy with my new project too these past 6 weeks or so and its almost ready to go.. I'll post details when I'm done :).. and sorry to disappoint you all but its not the E.Bay used panty scam!! :)
Stats..
Id like to take this opportunity to say how sorry I am to the people who stumble upon this site. Well Lets face it guys.. when Your doing searches for things like..
Kick Testicles..
Days out in East Yorkshire..
32DD and still growing
Nervous breakdown
Tarets Syndrome
32dd Bay area
growing 32ddd
You must be so disappointed by finding this load of dribble.. When I read through my latest list of hits, I get the strange feeling there was a pattern forming somewhere. if Only I could see what it was :/
I would also Like to say a huge thank you to all the people over the years who have read this rubbish and been kind enough to comment.. either by shoutbox comment box or private e.mail. You're all great and a huge **HUG** is on its way to you all. x
In my 2 years of doing this blog I have never been **trolled** once. What a lucky girl I am. (Holds breath and waits for the on slaut of nutters to slag me to death over the next few weeks!) For thoughs not in the no... Trolling is a term used to describe sad people who get a huge kick out of leaving nasty comments on peoples pages, it also seems to happen a lot on forums too. Kinda sad really.. and I'm sure there is a Boffin out there with a head shaped like a light bulb who could shed some light on (from his huge light bulb head) the subject and why these guys feel the need to do such a thing. I always go by the saying..
**If you haven't got anything nice to say, Then Don't say anything you bastard!** well it works for me :P
Off to bed now... yes I'm finally sleeping in my own bed again after 4 years.. Bloody hell!.. Its a long story..:(
Nite nite x
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